Am feeling a tad displaced of late. I have been trying to refrain from posting emo melancholic rants just like this one. That’s obviously not working out. There’s been a lot on my mind and lately I’ve been too self-absorbed to pay much notice to my surroundings, and I know I have probably offended one or two people with my none too cheery demeanour.
I had lunch alone today. Bit of a rush job, that one. But I had enough time to spare for a sit-down cigarette at Starbucks while I nursed my latte. Then for the first time in my life I was conscious of the fact that it was V Day and I’m sitting alone with a latte. Didn’t help that there were quite a few couples around me, with pink flowers and shit, and the cute Chinese guy in corner was soon joined by an equally cute girl in these tiny, tiny shorts. And then there’s me and my friggin’ latte. And I swear, its psychological more than anything else but I suddenly became very aware of the empty seats on my table.
So is this what single people feel on V Day? It’s new to me. And then I remember that I put myself here in the first place. Almost picked up the phone to un-cancel dinner. Tried to decide who to un-cancel with. Toyed around with my SMS menu and became bothered by the fact that for all the self-isolating that I do, I actually very much hate to be alone. Thus my lack of enthusiasm re: LDRs. It’s not the sex I can’t do without, it’s the million other little things – neither of which will ever translate through a phone conversation or an email. Like I vaguely remember saying this to EE yesterday, I wish I could be more ignorant. Its the fact that I am aware of all these ‘issues’ yet I am not motivated to do anything about it that kills me.
Ended up not making any calls. I remembered in time that I don’t actually have time for dinner. Thank God for work.
Yeah, trying to figure out life’s daily mysteries while I go about my day helps me deal with work better. Haha, hope you had a great V Day regardless.
{ 2 comments }
“..its psychological more than anything else but I suddenly became very aware of the empty seats on my table.”
I think so. Maybe it’s a kind of “habit” our subconscious has. An annoying habit I have to say.
It doesn’t bug me as much to be alone on V day these days, but THOSE feelings come back every now and then. Judging from the way things are, I think those feelings will always be around.
Thank God for good friends. And WoW.
Happy Valentine’s day.
Yeah, I think so too! It’s definitely an external influence (society, mostly, on how V Day should be) and perhaps not so subconscious.. not that it really bothers me that much. Hehe.
Happy belated V Day ;)
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