I woke up with a blog post unraveling itself in my head. It started when I heard my alarm this morning, and procrastinated for a good ten minutes in semi-conscious nirvana. But just as suddenly as I felt a need to write it down, it went away. I spent the rest of the day wondering what it was. It didn’t come back. I had a headache instead.
I also had the strangest dream, about love and life and everything profound-like, and I spent the first hours awake with the notion that all of us are ultimately nothing without our beliefs, and that we are all capable of inflicting mortal pain upon others but it balances somehow if that same power is used to create happiness instead. I’m not making too much sense but I can blame it on the meds.. still.
Anyway.
I toyed with my willpower today. Left my smokes at home so decided not to smoke. It wasn’t hard. I would normally just buy another pack. Then I came home and hand a nice long drag, decided I didn’t like it and put it out. I realised I liked the idea of doing something with my hands, not actually smoking. And I realised there was a pattern to when I smoke. I’m predictable like that. Maybe there is a way around it after all. I refuse to succumb to patches and gum, there’s nothing I can’t do if I put my mind to it. I’m not quitting just yet, but I like the idea.
Have a busy weekend, quite looking forward to it since the last one was spent mostly in bed feeling sorry for myself.
Also, need to organise a few things for a few people. That will keep me busy for a while.
