Valentine’s Day is fast approaching and I’ve been getting so many emails from various businesses pimping their top picks for the occasion. I can’t speak for everyone but I’m so sick of seeing all these fluffy, frilly pink things – surely this Paris Hilton demographic has been slowly shrinking over the past few years or have I just been living under a rock? Here’s what I would put together if I were to spam your inbox!

In a bid to put an end to lacy, soppy, rose-smelling pink cards, here are some very cool Bloom pop-up greeting cards by Artechnica, A$150 for a pack of 15.

Everyone should have an instant camera. Fuji Instamax Instant Camera, US$130.

Adding this to the list because Leicas are cool, it looks fab in orange and only 200 people in the world will have one. Leica M7 Hermes Edition, price unavailable.

Why are vintage bags so cool? The chances you will bump into someone else with the same bag are halved every year, thus you’ll probably be the only one in your city with this vintage Chanel tassel bag, US$1,865.

Alternatively a huge carryall like this weekender hobo from Marc by Marc Jacobs, US$228, will do the trick. Especially if it comes packed and ready for a surprise weekend trip.

Taking a tip from Seth Green’s infamous line in The Italian Job; though these M-sized Geneva Sound System babies, A$1,999, won’t blow womens clothes off but they look mighty cool in any living room. And if you’re wanting to put that theory to test, it comes in L and XL too.

Quality sound that looks funky.. portable cool! Totally digging these Skullcandy Ti Tokidoki Headphones, A$120.

There are regular steak knives, and there are Legnoart spicy steak knives by Carlo Contin. Unconventional as a V-Day gift, to say the very least. Price unavailable.

1000 Dessous: A history of Lingerie will look fab on any coffee table. From US$60.

Sexy! MAC Lipmix in Red, A$21.

I can has funny? These LOLMagnetz, US$20, are hilarious and a great bang for your buck. Check out the user submitted pictures on Thinkgeek!

For photography buffs, these Re:Vision Camera lense cuffs recycled in South Australia by Craig Arnold also come in sterling silver modeled on the real thing. Each recycled cuff is one-of-a-kind. A$140-250

Thinking of You flat-packed metal cut sheet vase covers from Artechnica hides that cheap vase so your blooms will always look cool. Guaranteed to last longer than the flowers you’ll be paying a bomb for on V-Day. A$55-$65.

Keep your other half up all night with this sexy Nespresso Delonghi Lattissima, $A699.

Riding crops from Lucrezia and De Sade, ahem. From A$25.

Images from respective sites.

Am feeling a tad displaced of late. I have been trying to refrain from posting emo melancholic rants just like this one. That’s obviously not working out. There’s been a lot on my mind and lately I’ve been too self-absorbed to pay much notice to my surroundings, and I know I have probably offended one or two people with my none too cheery demeanour.

I had lunch alone today. Bit of a rush job, that one. But I had enough time to spare for a sit-down cigarette at Starbucks while I nursed my latte. Then for the first time in my life I was conscious of the fact that it was V Day and I’m sitting alone with a latte. Didn’t help that there were quite a few couples around me, with pink flowers and shit, and the cute Chinese guy in corner was soon joined by an equally cute girl in these tiny, tiny shorts. And then there’s me and my friggin’ latte. And I swear, its psychological more than anything else but I suddenly became very aware of the empty seats on my table.

So is this what single people feel on V Day? It’s new to me. And then I remember that I put myself here in the first place. Almost picked up the phone to un-cancel dinner. Tried to decide who to un-cancel with. Toyed around with my SMS menu and became bothered by the fact that for all the self-isolating that I do, I actually very much hate to be alone. Thus my lack of enthusiasm re: LDRs. It’s not the sex I can’t do without, it’s the million other little things – neither of which will ever translate through a phone conversation or an email. Like I vaguely remember saying this to EE yesterday, I wish I could be more ignorant. Its the fact that I am aware of all these ‘issues’ yet I am not motivated to do anything about it that kills me.

Ended up not making any calls. I remembered in time that I don’t actually have time for dinner. Thank God for work.

Yeah, trying to figure out life’s daily mysteries while I go about my day helps me deal with work better. Haha, hope you had a great V Day regardless.