My version of Theresa Brynes’es Big Night Out:

I monitor a big night out by #1, if I stumble out of a club tanked with ice cold vodka shots, reciting corny anecdotes about previous nights out to the rest of the crew and laughing myself silly at things which would usually garner nothing more than a blank stare or a raised eyebrow. It’s happened a few times, that buzzing state of intoxication where everything’s a laugh and a half and you’re having a few moments of uninhibition. These particular big nights usually end at 5 or 6 am. One particular night being my farewell before I left for greener pastures down under.

#2 monitor - how many people, if any, have to assist me to take a piss. Toilets in clubs are usually hidden in some obscure corner, and the path to urinary freedom usually involves a flight (or two) of stairs which is not easy to negotiate with once you’ve had one too many. I once bravely confronted the stairs alone and made it to the toilets, and never actually left the place myself. Being rescued at times like these, can be quite tricky because no one knows where you are.

#3 monitor - taking the dance floor by storm. During said moments of uninhibition, everyone’s a good dancer, and I’ll be quite likely to join in the fun. Dance floors used to be my numero uno haunt, but these days clubbing has taken a turn for the worse. No one leaves the table for the floors anymore, so a prime spot on the couch is now -the- most coveted dance spot. Or anywhere with a flat surface. Shakin that ass seems more like a competitive sport these days.. or nights.

#4 monitor - 5 or 6 am, post clubbing, searching for a place to have a bite and a nice limau ais with an entourage of wonderful, happy people (Read: whoever’s left standing at the end of the night). It’s a good thing Malaysian mamak culture tailors to our post-clubbing needs.. or is it the other way around? Better than having to stumble home, raid the kitchen for a pack of instant something and hopefully make it to bed without falling asleep in the kitchen.

#5 monitor - beautiful strangers. Sometimes clubbing is a sport - a race to see how many women a guy can pick up armed with the lethal combination of charm, wit and alcohol. For me, its taking home yet another business card to add to the pile I’ve filed under ‘Nights Out’ in my rolodex or another number I’ll forget to call as soon as the vodka inspired haze subsides in the morning. I’ve never kept in contact with anyone I’ve met in a club (save for acknowledging nods and/or smiles if I bump into that person again and actually remember him/her) who wasn’t related to my social circle and I never intend to. It’s really best to keep your normal, boring life and your clubbing nights seperate.

#6 monitor - being invited to a post-club party, usually held in a suite walking distance from the club.. also usually held by strangers who you’ve just met and became best friends with in the span of the 30 minutes you were in contact. It’s happened twice, once by a DJ who happened to be a friend and also happened to be obviously intoxicated because he honestly admitted they needed more girls at the party. The other by a woman who was celebrating her 29th, got drunk sipping champers and promptly kissed me on the lips and asked me to join them. I declined both.

Theresa Brynes is right. There’s the thrill of the risk, the joy of the shocking and the abundant possibilities in destruction. The walls crumble and there seems to be no limit to my all-encompassing exuberance. It’s taking control of my own morality, sacrificing brain cells to booze and bringing on cancer by sucking down cigarettes. There’s something enlighteningly defiant about celebrating, letting loose, rejoicing by poisoning myself, not giving a shit. ‘Contradiction in terms?’ Life is so full of contradictions, opposites giving each other meaning. My idea of balance is back-to-back extremes: creative hyper-productivity, contemplation and isolation to full-on, out-there, party-mode.

My deadline is near; three weeks till I yet again leave for greener pastures, two till I throw the party to end all the partying I’ve been doing.. and with all the planning we’ve been doing, it will indeed be another Big Night Out.