[Previous entry: "Just five."] [Main Index] [Next entry: "Tubed"]

01/18/2003 Entry: "The Cafe"

Saturday afternoon, a secluded little arty cafe, half a pack of Marlboro Lights 10's, an ice lemon tea and a few chapters of Steve Martini later, somehow I got to thinking about relationships. I'm not exactly new at this, but looking back through all the years and all the men I've ever dated, I've come to realize one thing. Back then, who ditched who used to matter. It's always better to be the dumpee than the dumped. I don't know why this is, but thats the way it was with my earlier, non-serious relationships. Perhaps it's the age, perhaps not. Maybe it's pride, too. It could also be peer pressure, although I like to think I've never succumbed to that if I didn't want to. However, in some of my recent few relationships, I find myself just wanting things to end, not caring if I'm the dumped or the dumpee. Weird.

I went back to this cafe because it used to be my old hang out when I was still in high school. I'd spend my afternoons there doing my homework, reading, catching up with gossip.. but mostly I'm there alone. It's a nice place to chill out with your thoughts. I had some time to kill while waiting for mom to do her facial and massage so I found myself back there again after 20 minutes of mindless driving. I've never taken anyone I've dated to this cafe before. Perhaps I kinda like to think of it as my own little place.

It was nice revisiting that cafe. It sure as hell brought back a whole lot of memories :) I miss my high school days. I miss my mad college days. Uni days are just.. different. More grown-up. More responsible, alot more serious and definately no room for fuck ups.

Three weeks away from my final term. Yes, I'm feeling the stress already.