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12/24/2003 Entry: "De javu"

One day before Christmas.

I still haven't figured out what that day means to me. Amidst all the festivities that surrounds this day and the joy and laughter that permeates the atmosphere, I am still a little jaded and reluctant to go with the flow. My friends have been great, as they always are, but someone needs to give my ass a good kick because I'm stuck in a mood I can't get out of. Some call it holiday blues.

I miss having a tree to decorate and presents to wrap. I miss the company of family and close friends that all come together on that one day to celebrate, and I miss having someone to share all that with. I think, at some stage in my life, I realized that things will never be the same again. That sounds cryptic, but I'm really just talking about what Christmas used to mean and what it means now. I suppose like many things in my life, and why I am who I am, there lies the fear of expecting too much and being disappointed. This year, like the last, I expect nothing.

What are your wishes this year, if they would be granted at the stroke of midnight? I'd wish to be truly happy (the one thing that eludes me to this day) and I'd wish that I could see some people that I want to wish Merry Christmas to in person. I'd also wish for a new digicam and that Tiffany's heart link bracelet, but Santa'd be broke when he gets to my list.. hehe.

I'd also wish that all of you out there will have a great season and great memories - go forth and be merry!

Here's a little case of seasonal de javu.

I also found a very old picture of me in a santa hat.. I must've been about 15? This used to be Bronson's favourite picture for reasons I cannot fathom.. I can't remember if I've ever posted this up before but here it is:

Replies: 7 comments

if you want to experience the true feeling of being happy, you should....

eat magic mushrooms..hahahaha

that is EUPHORIAAAAA


Posted by xes @ 12/25/2003 04:22 AM GMT


merry xmas! :D

Posted by mandy @ 12/25/2003 10:30 AM GMT


Merry X'mas

Posted by josh @ 12/25/2003 11:37 AM GMT


merry christmas! :) cute picture. ;)

Posted by grace @ 12/25/2003 03:47 PM GMT


lik ur diary. It's nice being able to express one'feelings online, I suppose i suffer from anxiety. lol To many popups. Rich

Posted by fuzzt too @ 01/02/2024 04:48 PM GMT


1/02

happy new year, and I'd love to become friends rich


Posted by fuzzy was he @ 01/02/2024 04:52 PM GMT


who are you?

Posted by fuzzy @ 01/08/2024 03:04 AM GMT















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