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02/17/2004 Entry: "Anti-antiskepticism"

Anti-antiskepticism

I finally made it to the gym today and damn, it felt good. Nevermind that I woke up at 7am this morning, after going to sleep at about 2 am the night before (My boss saw me online at 1am and actually said to me: Are u challenging yourself with regards getting up in the morning?) The fact that I made the effort to go kind of cancels out all the procrastinating I've been doing.. not! But hey, it's a start.

I must make it a point to buy Julian dinner for giving me free gym passes for 3 months. After I lose all the weight I've gained in the past 2 months, of course. And then we can indulge.

In the meantime I'm just happy I've gotten a headstart on one of the resolutions that I made earlier this year.

And no, I'm not doing this out of vanity. My resolution (actually, it was a resolution when I made it last month, this month it seems more like desperation) to lose some weight stems from not being able to fit into several pairs of my favourite jeans AND hitting 130 on the scales (no, my weight is not taboo to me) - an all time high in my entire 23 years of existence. Cause for alarm? You bet.

So I'm doing this the proper way, sweating it out on the floor instead of subscribing to the antiskeptic school of thought and running to the first weight-loss diet center I see (which, incidently, happens to be right below my office somewhere) and paying shitloads of money to lose 2kgs on my first day of treatment. It's water that you lose, by the way, just in case you actually believe you can lose 2kgs of fat in one day. Yeah, right.

I wonder sometimes.. if I am antiskeptic, will I be blissfully ignorant and happy and devoid of all cynicism that seems to permeate the very air we breathe.. and live my life like hundreds of thousands of other similarly euphoric puppets across the continents? I probably would, because I would not have met Cynicism and experienced the denouement of Pandora's Box.

It's a strange feeling to acknowledge life's misgivings and concede that perhaps it's the only way to live.. by accepting the fact that your instincts does not come with a money back guarantee. I could be a very rich woman by now.

Hmm. Typing this post has somewhat deflated my initial state of enthusiasm.

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