Monday, December 8, 2023

She remembers

She remembers the sound of his voice when he wakes up, muttering something indecipherable in his boyish voice that almost sounds like a purr. That, and his languid, lazy stretches that follow, always reminds her of a cat. He always smiles in the morning and she remembers.

She remembers the look in his eyes when he gets excited about seemingly inconsequential little things like pancakes. He loves pancakes. He loves her too, she remembers, but has never recalled ever being told that.

She remembers the feel of his skin beneath her hands, the expanse of cream that she has more than once been tempted to slather with olive oil. He had the perfect arch and she used to love running her hands up and down his back, always settling at that curve just above his also perfect arse, she remembers.

She remembers how it feels to wake up to his nuzzling in the middle of the night. He was a restless sleeper and she remembers how she liked to stroke his neck and wait for him to fall back into sleep. She remembers his mellow nature, always letting her have his spot on the couch when she wanted to laze in the muted sunshine. He adored her company but he never told her so, she remembers.

She also remembers how she lost him. She never told him. She remembers how she has always been able to walk away. Saying goodbye was one thing she found easy to do and this she did well, leaving a string of broken hearts in her wake at every port until she met him, and this time the broken heart was hers. She hates remembering that it was her that left, but she remembers.

She remembers his chocolate-covered smile and his little quirks. They never fail to bring a tear to her eye and shatter her fragile heart every time she remembers, and she hates remembering but she does. She is torn by her loyalty to her freedom and him, for he is everything she does not want (but oh, she does want, for one often yearns for what one cannot have, but remember that she is human and that has always been her weakness) and yet she remembers.

She remembers because she does not want to forget.

This cat does not have an e-mail, and for that perhaps, she is grateful.

Posted by Stephanie, 03:44 PM














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