[ Sunday, March 31, 2024 ]
Happy 21st Birthday Shean Min! ;D
First of the gang to turn 21! And to think the bunch of us were mere 17/18 year olds when we first got to know one another in college *grins* The lan ci kia who hardly spoke two words the first few months, only to turn into such a blabbermouth soon after, hah! The driver, the victim, the SGB (I can only remember the acronym!) and what else? The individual, the crazy person behind killer wheels, the "I can't take all this mushiness" guy. The friend, the confidant, the clown.
The nut who supposedly made a blood oath with Kai when forming the local chapter of GHQ. The mad-ass driver who sped on the highway like there was no tomorrow, driving all of us anywhere and everywhere (including up the wall!). The friend who was there to yak with all the time, and coupled with Norman, was always the victim of gay jokes (even though none were true). Remember the time when Sharon stood up in the crowded Coffee Bean and yelled "Oh my god Shean Min, you're GAY?!", making our table the centre of attention? Ahahaha! I still laugh when I remember that stricken expression on your face :)
Happy 21st birthday Shean Min. Another year to mark the friendship off to. Thanks for the laughs, and for being there. *hug*
Tiff. L [3:49 AM]
[ Saturday, March 30, 2024 ]
6.30am and I'm still up. Like that should surprise anyone.
So I'm sitting here on my bed, half-buried under my sleeping bag, wondering why the hell I've stopped blogging. I'm wondering where the hell I went wrong in school, in life, and hey, I have no answers.
I've been looking at some stuff, and it crossed my mind that I would really like to write a song someday. No, not the tune, just the words. As such, I'm now on the lookout for some songwriters, wee! *smacks self on forehead* Dreamer, pfft.
I want to go home.
I want to see dad, and believe that everything's alright, that he's perfectly fine. I want to have him drag me out of bed early in the mornings for our breakfast sessions before I follow him to the store. I want to walk with him to the bank and sit with him in his favourite coffee shop, just having a drink and yakking away about anything and everything. I want to hold his hand when we cross the street, just like I used to when I was little. I want to follow him when he sets out to deliver shoes to his clients, and help him carry the heavy boxes so that he doesn't have to do it by himself. I want to listen to him reminisce about the days when he was a young man, the dreams he had, some shattered, some fulfilled. I want to hear again the stories from his childhood, how his sisters and brothers took care of each other, how things were so cheap then, how he met mom. I want to hear him berate me for being so stubborn at times, before offering to buy me stuff *grins* Always trying to give me money, which I consistently refuse to take, which sets him off on random shopping sprees for the funniest things. Go for drives with no particular destination in mind, just yakking away on in the car.
We always did get along. And we always did have an awful lot to talk about.
I'm not like him, although many times have I wished that I was. I'm not his favourite, but that I can deal, and accept. I get impatient easily, and he knows that. He also knows that I have the utmost respect for him, and that I'm bloody stubborn. He always told me I should be better at hiding my emotions, that it was for my own good, and for my protection. I believed him. I still do. Never was there a man who spoke as much truth to me as he did. However against the grain of idealism it went, my father spoke a lot of sense, made a lot of sense. He was never too macho to hug me back either *grins* He's a remarkable man.
Aye, remarkable indeed. :)
Currently listening to: Robbie Williams' Eternity
Current emotion: .
Random observation: So I'm daddy's girl. You have a problem with that? :P
Tiff. L [6:50 AM]
My peaches and cream candle's already 1/3rd gone, but it smells so yummy I can't stop lighting it.
Lots of people are away for Easter weekend, yay. Sarah, Kayla, Chris and I will be going out for dinner tomorrow since none of them are going home for the break. Watched bits of Tomb Raider before coming back to my room. Am waiting for Asha to show up so that we can watch Not Another Teen Movie. I bought ice cream today.
Am thinking of working on a scrapbook.
People are getting sued left right and centre it seems :/ Damnitall.
Currently listening to: U2's One
Current emotion: .
Random observation: Is it really possible to be too nice?
Tiff. L [1:02 AM]
[ Friday, March 29, 2024 ]
I can't put down into words whats been happening lately. :/
Sleeping and watching movies between bouts of studying. Chris and Bryan are up for the night, so we drove to McD's a few hours ago. Heather's parents were here, and me being the stupid smartass that I am, I blurted out some stuff I really shouldn't have, so I feel really bad about it at the moment. Bleh. I'm sorry I was rude Mr J :(
Haven't felt like blogging the last few days. It's like such a chore, and honestly, I'm sick and tired of all the things I want to say but can't because of various reasons.
Di's already left for home, and Susan's here for the night. Chris is here for the weekend, and Sarah's leaving with Bryan for Waterford tomorrow.
Currently listening to: Spineshanks' Playing God
Current emotion: .
Random observation: I may stop blogging for a while.
Tiff. L [2:18 AM]
[ Wednesday, March 27, 2024 ]
Meh. *shrug*
Tiff. L [10:55 PM]
[ Tuesday, March 26, 2024 ]
.
Tiff. L [11:47 PM]
[ Monday, March 25, 2024 ]
I caught a glimpse of heaven last night
That flashed in the mirror and fractalized the light
yay Live. So my room's a mess and I'm sitting on my bed while coughing my lungs out. I guess I shouldn't have checked in on Asha after all.
Was up till 5 this morning, spending time with Di and Sarah. Slept right through classes, eek.
Am trying to find meaning and motivation in school again. I feel as if I've lost the drive to excel, spending time re-evaluating the values which I'd once held onto for dear life. I always thought that there was nothing more important than grades, grades and more grades. These last few months have taught me that there's so much more to life than that. But while I may come to this realization, reality has not. And my mind just keeps spinning...
Everything's so blurry
and everyone's so fake
And everybody's empty
and everything is so messed up...
So we watched Shanghai Noon this evening, before everyone went off to do their own thing.
From sooks:
take free enneagram test
Interesting. Or maybe not.
Currently listening to: Ricky Martin & Christina Aguilera's Nobody Wants to be Lonely
Current emotion: .
Random observation: blah blah blah. Where's faith when you need it?
Tiff. L [11:41 PM]
[ Sunday, March 24, 2024 ]
I'm back :)
Tired, thoughtful and wary of the last few weeks of school, but I'm back all the same. Lots of stories with punchlines I can't remember, laughs and general discussions about life, school and residence. Day-to-day recap:
Friday:
Headed downtown with Kayla and Sarah in the afternoon. We met Susan at the bus terminal and spent an hour or so at the toy section in Zellers, gawking at the toys kids had nowadays (which made us feel really old) before heading to Haazelton's for coffee, cake and laughs. I left for campus at three, as I needed to pack before John showed up. 3.30 on the dot, and John was waiting for us downstairs in the parking lot. I brought Eric Bear with me *grins* After picking Rox up from work, we drove the 35 minutes to their place, reaching around 4.30ish. The drinking started at 5pm, between jokes, playing with the cats, dinner and playing with Lite-Brite. John bought himself some ale, a 12-pack of Corona for Sarah, some gin and tonic for Anne and 750ml of russian vodka for me ;D Miranda and Rox chose to stay sober. We crashed at 3am.
Saturday:
Everyone was up by 11, and after a fantastic breakfast prepared by Rox, we headed out for the 'adventure' John had promised us. First stop was a candle factory and warehouse about half an hour away. It was great, and all of us bought candles at half the regular price. I bought peaches and cream, strawberries and cream and a mixed berries one. The peaches and cream candle smells like peach schnapps, lol. Can't wait to use them at our new place next term.
After that, it was off toThe Big Apple, a factory that produced apple pies and butter tarts. We picked some stuff up for dessert that night, and checked out the mini-zoo that was next to it. We saw a few llamas, deer and wild rabbits.Sarah and I spotted the cutest baby rabbit in the deer pen.
Sarah: I want to take that home!
Me: 'kay Sarah, I'll give you a boost and you go get it!
(pretend to climb over the fence)
John: NOOO!!!
damnits. ahaha! Poor John, hee. We're a silly bunch :) Drove on to Hasaltons, a craft factory that produced ornaments out of solid aluminium, silver and/or 24K gold. Very pretty, very unique and very expensive. After looking around we headed to a gift/grocery store to pick up some Italian pasta as well as admire the unique gifts it carried. Our final destinations were the grocery store and the LCBO, where we bought junk food, ingredients for dinner and more alcohol.
We got home around 4-ish, and Sarah, Anne and I had a short nap while the others puttered around the house. That evening, John taught me how to cook a new dish and de-glaze a pan, ooh.. we stuffed ourselves with a fantastic dinner, followed by butter tarts (pure sugar, ugh) and more alcohol. I'd finished John's orange juice, so we resorted to pinapple instead, lol. However, everyone was really tired after our busy day, so John and Rox called it a night around 11. The rest of us trooped downstairs to watch Stepmom on cable tv till 2am. I couldn't sleep because I had too much on my mind, so I read till 4-ish.
Sunday:
Rox had to go to work in the morning, so we didn't get to say goodbye. John fixed us brunch consisting of waffles and maple syrup before driving us back to school late in the afternoon. Spent time catching up with Kayla, Roger, Di and Sarah. Helped Jeff and Katie cook dinner for Kat, Eren and Annie, and in return they printed me a "We Love Tiff!" sign, lol. Kayla, Di and the rest had ordered Chinese and bought me some as well, yay! We watched the Cultural Outreach on video and yakked before I went back to my room.
Am very tired now :P
Currently listening to: Save Ferris's Come On Eileen
Current emotion: .
Random observation: Friends. What would I do without them?
Tiff. L [11:30 PM]
[ Friday, March 22, 2024 ]
I forgot to mention that I'll be away for the weekend; will be heading to John and Rox's for a break away from it all with Anne, Miranda and Sarah H. Shopping, home-cooked meals and a whole lot of alcohol (and I seriously mean a whole lot). I'll come back with some good stories, you can bet on it :) I should be back Sunday afternoon I think.
Am talking to sooks. Can't wait to see her in summer :)
By the way, my site looks really screwed up on Netscape. Just thought I'd point that out :/
Currently listening to: Rusted Root's Hooked on a Feeling
Current emotion: .
Random observation: A whole new reason for loving blueberry fritters: they come with extra blueberries inside! ;D
Tiff. L [3:33 AM]
Was up all night as usual before heading out for breakfast with Di. Slept in after that, and ventured out for coffee later with Sarah.
After dinner in the LEC dining hall, we walked to the library Mission Impossible-style (I can still see Sarah hiding near the bridge before pretending to climb over, hah!) with Di to look for Bubba and Susan. While Di was yakking away with Derek, Sarah and I decided to hook all the journals together to form a chain, which meant that anyone trying to grab one journal would pull another 15 with it. Go us ;D
We convened in Di's room later and started taking mad photos. Crazy good fun to lighten everyone's mood :) I got shoved off the bed and onto the floor by Kayla, and we got squashed by the other girls when we took the pile-up. Poor Di fell over three times when we did the piggy back picture, lol. I was carrying Susan, and Di was trying to get onto Susan's back. In her attempt to do so, she jumped a little too far and flew right over us, eek :P Good thing she wasn't hurt!
After all that, it was time for Kayla Massive 2002. 3 minutes of Kayla burping, us screaming with laughter and yells of "I'm gonna throw up!" before we massacred the file, playing it backwards, slow motion and cathedral-style. We're thinking of distributing it over the Internet, calling the file something like fivegirlsinaroom.mp3. Can you see those perverts downloading it, thinking it'll be porn, when it's actually burps?! ahaha! I just kill myself *wipes tear*
It's been a good evening. What with the stress and problems slowly killing everyone, a night of pure silliness and fun to take the pressure off, even for a little while.
Jeff came by to discuss some stuff just a while ago, and with that, my good mood just flew out the window. Everything's a mess, and I just got reminded of it. Bleh.
Currently listening to: Robbie Williams' She's The One
Current emotion: .
Random observation: I think I broke my alarm clock, eek.
Tiff. L [12:33 AM]
[ Thursday, March 21, 2024 ]
I learnt today that my professor used to have a purple mohawk when he was in grad school (!!). I also learnt that you can spend a good hour relating fetishes to cyberpunk culture. I think I heard the word "fetish" and the connotations associated with it more in that one hour of class than I have my whole life *shudders*
Time spent with friends, trying to deal with everything. Reminiscing about that last 16 months, thinking about the years ahead of us. Am almost done with my second year of university. Scary, that. Had a quick meeting with Bob and Pauline regarding the year-end dinner late in the evening. Called mom after that, before spending time with Anne, Kayla and Sarah.Yay for girlfriends ;D
I don't like being alone with my thoughts.
Currently listening to: Goo Goo Dolls' Broadway
Current emotion: .
Random observation: Baby/digestive cookies are yummy.
Tiff. L [2:05 AM]
[ Wednesday, March 20, 2024 ]
Called mom. She's leaving for Shanghai, China on the 19th of April. Sharon called today *hugs her* Thanks chica. Can't wait to see you in May.
Am trying to figure out how I can leave school as soon as possible, and go home. Plans to visit northern and southern Ontario have been put on hold. Seattle is scrapped, as is Melbourne. So is getting a summer job it seems. I have more important things to worry about.
I'll be home as soon as I can. I promise you that.
Currently listening to: Duran Duran's Come Undone
Current emotion: .
Random observation: Say a prayer for the loved.
Tiff. L [1:44 AM]
[ Tuesday, March 19, 2024 ]
I promise You, I'll do anything and everything; just don't take him away from me. Please. I really don't know what I'd do if I ever lost him.
I'll be home ASAP. I promise.
Tiff. L [10:32 PM]
Meh. I hate it when I stay up all night, only to fall asleep an hour before class. I've lost count the amount of times its happened already.
I have a new blog for my mad ravings now, go me. I'm looking forward to the weekend, Nes might visit me in KL next Christmas (if I go home) and I wrote a rhyme about the girls down the hall. Daniel came by and gave me a photo taken during Cultural Outreach, and Sarah developed the pictures from our last few adventures, including seeing Default live, our romp downtown, dinner at Marley's and whatnot. I'll be working on a photo collage sometime soon. My desk lamp's busted, damn.
By the way Kris, someone's been doing a search on you on Google. To the stalker, word! :P
Currently listening to: Jimmy Eat World's My Sundown
Current emotion: meh.
Random observation: feel like taking this blog off circulation.
Tiff. L [1:44 AM]
[ Monday, March 18, 2024 ]
I can't freaking sleep, can't work, can't read. All I do is sit here and think and think and over and above everything I see that wrist with bandages on it. I can't begin to describe the feeling of seeing it, knowing that she cut herself again... or did she just stick the bandages there, and say she cut herself? "An accident...scratches...it's nothing...last night was messed..." It's awful to doubt a person's word, but with all that's happened...
It fucking frustrates me, because I know deep down that it's for the attention, and I honestly don't know how to deal with it anymore. I've tried being there for her, but the attention she seeks is smothering. I feel awful for the others, because now they're caught up in the whole mess as well. It's not even eight months. Broken promises, faked smiles, alcohol-induced confessions.
In your eyes, I can't help but wonder why
You think you leave all when you die.
Forget all who cared, that you've loved,
self-pity in tears are only self-served.
IwillnotfeelbadIwillnotfeelbad IwillnotfeelbadIwillnotfeelbad Iwillnolongerfeelbadorguilty Iwillnolongerbeguiltedintocaring nomorenomorenomore.
It wasn't so much as not thinking than it was pushing things to the back of my mind. I'll admit that now.
Currently listening to: Radiohead's Street Spirit (Fade Out)
Current emotion: fed-up
Random observation: bah humbug.
Tiff. L [4:40 AM]
[ Sunday, March 17, 2024 ]
I was spaced out, mind completely devoid of any thought, and yet, the conclusion drawn by many was that something was bothering me. According to my friends, I looked worried, tired, preoccupied and/or miserable. I "haven't looked like that in a long time", to quote Asha. Di said I looked as if I'd cried to the point of exhaustion. In all honesty, I really did have nothing on my mind *confused look*
It's just one of those days when you want to be alone and try to empty yourself of everything. Stop feeling, thinking, talking. Just sit back, be stupid (or something). Y'know?
It was the end of Black History Month at Trent, and the members of TACSU organized a grand final� held at Wenjack Theatre. Everyone went to show their support, and we were not disappointed. It was a fantastic show all around, and we screamed ourselves hoarse for Althea, Bubba, Gathoni, Deandra, Steve and the rest. Was at the library doing some last-minute research after that.
It's been a quiet day. And no, for those curious (you know who you are), no hangovers :P
I need to get away.
Currently listening to: Enya's Wild Child
Current emotion: sad
Random observation: Watching history unfold on tv just makes you realize how cruel and stupid humanity really is.
Tiff. L [11:49 PM]
Morning call from Prof. Kruger (I can't tell you how lovely it was), demanding that I give him details of my interview. Spoke to Peter sometime in the afternoon and had lunch with Asha, Kayla and Chris after that. Finished some reading for class and took a nap before spending time downstairs with the girls.Di got back from Waterloo late afternoon, and we had dinner at Marley's before coming back to watch American Beauty. Now that is one messed up flick. Chris and I did several shots during the movie; he finished a mickey of tequila and I had some vodka. We headed to the JCR at 2am to catch the F1 race in Sepang, Malaysia. Ralf came in first, followed by JPM and Schumi. Rather uneventful race overall. Felt bad for Barrichello, especially when he was leading for the longest time before his engine gave out.
Just got back to my room and am very tired now; will write more tomorrow.
Quote of the Day:
It's PORN! - Tiff L (in reference to American Beauty)
Currently listening to: Toya's I Do
Current emotion: bleh
Random observation: I saw another wrist today. :/
Tiff. L [3:54 AM]
[ Saturday, March 16, 2024 ]
Damnit, I knew things were too good to last :P Got back to my room sometime ago and received messages from both Prof. Kruger and Peter Northrop. I'm in for it now, bah.
Watched Office Space with Kayla and Chris. Ran over to see Kris and Lindsay for a bit. Got back and watched American Pie 2 and Austin Powers 2. More junk to turn my brain to mush, heh.
Currently listening to: Splender's I Think God Can Explain
Current emotion: blah
Random observation: I keep thinking there's gonna be one perfect day out there.
Tiff. L [4:51 AM]
[ Friday, March 15, 2024 ]
Happy days are here again!
Two excellent pieces of news that made my day; Roger's staying in rez (woohoo!!) and Asha got accepted to the University of London for next year, yay! Kayla, Susan and I have already made plans to visit her next Reading Break :)
TACSU's final party tonight, but I really don't feel up to it, so will be staying in to catch up on readings and watch some movies. I think I forgot to mention that our pictures for Cultural Outreach made the front page of the Arthur (local university paper), wee! To top that off, just received an e-mail from Wei Lynn saying that Lakefield College would like us to perform for them in April... totally unexpected, that.
Chris is here for the weekend again, so a bunch of us are going to do something special for dinner tomorrow as usual. Sharon will be back in Malaysia on the 1st of May, Uncle Ben will be there till the 15th I think, and YiMin wants me to head over to Seattle with her before we head back home. So many things to do, so little time!
Dates to Remember:
16th March - English 205 stuff
16th March - Dinner
18th March - Theatre paper
20th March - Meeting @ 9pm w/ Bob & Pauline
22nd March - John & Rox's for the weekend
24th March - Don's meeting at JBC
1st April - Classical lit paper
2nd April - Performance at Lakefield College
3rd April - Science fiction paper
Currently listening to: Sum 41's Fat Lip
Current emotion: =)
Random observation: 5 more weeks and it's summer break!
Tiff. L [8:48 PM]
[ Thursday, March 14, 2024 ]
Nobody ever signs the guestbook *growls*
I'm happily drugged and I'm drinking some soup now, wee! Kayla came up with the perfect conclusion about the stuff in rez:
Kayla: it's all because of sex. Forget money; sex is the root of all evil.
Me: Everyone should be asexual.
Kayla: exactly!
In unison: VIRGINIA FOREVER!
No, we really don't make sense, especially when we're both ill, heh.
Spoke to sooks for a bit; she scared the living crap out of me by making me check a link. I screamed like a banshee *throws sooks a dirty look* Never, EVER do that to me again! I admit quite openly I'm a coward when it comes to shit like that, and the only good thing out of it was that there was no one with me. They'd be deaf otherwise.
The deviantART forum makes me want to hurl. The insensitivity, the lack of respect, the random attacks on newbies, regulars, etc. Sheer stupidity at its best. :/
Uh oh. I feel sick now.
Currently listening to: Live's Hero of Love
Current emotion: .
Random observation: respect is lacking in so many ways.
Tiff. L [11:55 PM]
[ Wednesday, March 13, 2024 ]
Meeting, classes, lunch. Was at Scullers for a while. It was a nice sunny day, so a bunch of us sat outside the library steps and just hung out. Am starting to get sick again. It's just due to being tired I know. Andreas gave me a beautiful gift. Thank you :)
Lost it completely earlier. Completely. Just... lost it. What she said was the final straw. Temper, temper. Just when I thought I had such a good hold on it too. Guess I don't. Goddamned temper. *sigh*
Am out of Kleenex, bah. Oh yah, and I figured out why some people are so civil to me now. I'm to be their reference for their application for housing next year, hah! Talk about ironic, pfft.
Have to study for a quiz tomorrow. Need sleep.
Yikes, almost forgot; Happy Birthday Uncle Ben!! (am I late?)
Currently listening to: Bon Jovi's Next One Hundred Years
Current emotion: .
Random observation: Paid my credit card bill today *makes a face*
Tiff. L [7:54 PM]
I can't even begin to describe the day. It was the finest example of how a day couldn't get any worst, and how there's only one word to describe residence: dramatic. It's 3.30am, and I just got back to my room. Am to attend a meeting regarding keys issue. I've never seen the world fall apart for so many people in such a short span of time. It's like Friday the 13th, except that it was Tuesday the 12th.
Audrey called, and I got to talk to her, dad and mom for half an hour. :/
Sat in Sarah's room with her and Di till 3-ish, just talking, and talking, and talking some more. Frustrations aired, jokes and memories recalled, you name it, we probably covered it. I'm just.. tired now.
Currently listening to: Guns & Roses' November Rain
Current emotion: .
Random observation: If this is a dream (or nightmare more like it), I'd like to wake up now.
Tiff. L [3:50 AM]
[ Tuesday, March 12, 2024 ]
Lookit world, I'm still awake! :P Spoke to mom and dad for a good hour; daddy was back in hospital last week :( Won't know how he's doing till next month when they do their annual checkup on him *worried* :/
The good news is that mom's thinking of taking a well-deserved holiday for herself and 2nd aunty; they're thinking of visiting either Australia or Shanghai. Mom's business contact was a real bastard though; he'd promised her a free return ticket to Canada for reaching a quota set for her last year, but when she asked him about it he said it couldn't be done. Mom was so disappointed. That bastard :/
Was with Roger for over an hour and a half, just getting things sorted. Poor guy's so stressed out. Am hoping for the best for him.
I really need to go sleep now.
Currently listening to: John Farnham's Don't Let It End
Current emotion: exhausted
Random observation: Everything seems kinda blurry to me now.
Tiff. L [1:47 AM]
[ Monday, March 11, 2024 ]
Slept 11-ish and woke up at 2am. Couldn't go back to sleep, so I stayed up all night and all day as usual. Have decided to resort to pills to fix my sleep time :/ It's the only way I'll survive till the end of the term.
It's really cold out, but I went for classes anyway. Yada yada yada. Almost got hit by a car again while crossing the street after lunch. It's become a habit of sorts nowadays, these near-accident things. Got back to campus around 4 and met up with Matt and Helena. Yakked with them for a bit before heading off to see Prof. Clark to get some academics sorted. Residence stuff is still an unholy mess, and I'm even more involved than before now *sigh*
Today's episode of The Young, Restless and Stupid in LEC: confrontations, egos, gossips, apologies, friends and enemies. Will *she* win? Will *he* be forgiven? Will someone please kick *her* in the proverbial (and figuratively speaking) nuts? Who's fault is it? Who's the ref? What's the real story behind the key? Will Tiff remember to return that Maxim mag she borrowed? [returned it, hah!] Stay tuned. :P
Susan joined me later and we hung out in Asha's room for a bit. We harassed Di while she was sleeping till the 'phone woke her up. Kayla's back and feeling better, yay! :) We bought food at the Champlain College Snack Bar, and had a mini hallway party when we got back. Asha and Allison took pictures, lol. We just sat there giggling and kidding around before we moved the 'party' into Di's room. Long joined us soon after, and we informed him that we were throwing another cookout party at his place this weekend. He really didn't have that much choice in the decision-making process :P Long and I will be cooking for the girls again. It'll be fun.
Am exhausted :/ Will go sleep soon.
[Edited at 10.38pm]
I was supposed to be in bed two hours ago. Thanks to an impromptu meeting, I'm still awake, and ready to collapse. Learned even more crazy shit (more than I want to know) that totally ticked me off. The Young, Restless and Stupid in LEC have soared to new heights in terms of malicious words and slander. I wish I could write a script and sell it. I'd be rolling in money now *sigh*
I think I'll call my parents.
Quote of the Day:
Here's the test: if a guy says he loves you, go up to him and kick him in the nuts really hard. If he really loves you, he'll do nothing but cry. - Long
ahahaha!! *roflmao!* I wonder how often has Long been kicked in the nuts *keels over laughing!*
Currently listening to: Weezer's American Girl
Current emotion: tired
Random observation: I have the funniest friends :)
Tiff. L [8:35 PM]
[ Sunday, March 10, 2024 ]
Woke up late today still feeling tired. Ran to Wenjack in the afternoon for the second (and final) show. I actually felt a lot more nervous today than I did yesterday, but overall it worked out fine. Had dinner with Steve, Susan, Sarah and Faye before coming back. It was so windy out, and it's snowing again, eek. Just when I thought spring was arriving, pfft. -14C tomorrow with windchill, eek!
Kayla's really sick, and is spending the night at her cousin's. I hope she feels better soon :/
Was with Asha for a while before heading over to Kris's to see her. Tanay came by as well, and we just spent a good hour relaxing and hanging out, 'cause we hadn't done that for a very long time. Gave both of them a massage each, so my arms are tired now :P
Am lying on my bed, thinking about summer. I need a job :/ Wonder if the British Council will hire me. Maybe I'll try some freelance work in copy editing, pfft. A possibility, no? Or maybe Alice Smith will take me in again. The workplace kinda sucks sometimes though, bleh. I want to fly to Melbourne with sooks in June, but since I'm not doing all that well in school, I really don't deserve to. Decisions, decisions, decisions, blah.
Currently listening to: Bon Jovi's Blaze of Glory (acoustic)
Current emotion: sleepy
Random observation: A hug makes the world seem sane again.
Tiff. L [9:53 PM]
[ Saturday, March 09, 2024 ]
I went to bed six-ish, and *she* woke me up at 11 just so she could tell me how everyone in the college was against her, and that everything was falling apart. Been there, done that. I went through my share of hell last term, remember? Last I recall, she wasn't there for me either. In fact, she was one of the reasons it was such a hellish term. And if that wasn't bad enough, she implied that I had something to do with her problems as well. Thanks. Always knew I was a malicious and immature child who pulled stupid stunts like that *rolls eyes* You know, I believe I have enough sense and maturity to not even consider, let alone concoct such a dirty trick. I may not get along 100% with you, but that does not mean I'd stoop so low as to hit you below the belt. I have better things to do with my time. Just when I thought the term was going to be fine, too. Pfft. [Clean all the bad vibes away]
Made a trip downtown in the afternoon to find glitter and some gold hairband thingie for the show, but no such luck :\ Wasn't paying attention when I crossed the road, and almost got hit by a 4X4, yay me ;D I suppose the "Don't Walk" sign was there for a reason... I felt so bad for the driver; must have given him a heart attack there.
Came back, had a talk with Faye and got ready to head to Wenjack for the show. Sarah did my hair for me (thank you *hug*) and once I got to Otanabee College, Asha did the makeup. (Yes, I caved in. So much for my clean track record :\) Asha did a good job of keeping it to a minimum though *hugs Asha!* Screwed up kinda/sorta onstage, but everyone was really nice about it and cheered anyway ;) 400 people down, 400 more to go. It's a good thing I only humiliate myself in front of limited numbers, hah!
So opening night's over, and I'm dog tired. Cooked some food, and washed all that gunk out of my hair and face. I'll never understand how women and girls can put all that crap on themselves and still feel natural, ugh. When Genevieve sprayed that hair thing on me, I wanted to hurl. I have new respect for those who wear makeup so diligently; you guys must have a helluva time getting it right. As for smudging, let's not even talk about it. I flipped when I forgot about the eye thing and rubbed my eyes, lol. Looked like a raccoon for awhile there, with them black-rimmed eyes *grins*
Madness *shrug* So, who wants to see pictures?! ;D (as if I'm gonna show any, pfft!)
Currently listening to: Leslie Carter's Like Wow
Current emotion: .
Random observation: Having people in the crowd yell your name is such an ego-booster, haha!! *winks*
Tiff. L [11:57 PM]
Responsibility's a bitch, no?
Mom called in the morning. Missed going downtown with Kayla and Sarah. Full dress rehearsal at Wenjack. Found out I'm supposed to wear makeup for the stage. Over my dead body. Sunday was missing, so we ran around trying to find him. He showed up after rehearsal, yay [/sarcasm]. Watched 2/3rds of Ocean's Eleven before the drama started. Two hours of it, thank you very much.
Now that we've got the niceties out of the way, allow me to vent. Vulgar language to follow, so discretion is advised.
...
As if I'm going to post it here. *sigh* It's been a bad, bad week.
Currently listening to: Katrien's Side
Current emotion: .
Random observation: How do you tell someone it's worth it when you don't even believe in it yourself?
Tiff. L [2:12 AM]
[ Thursday, March 07, 2024 ]
Cultural Outreach in 44 hours and counting. :\
I fixed my favourite bead necklace, yay. Tedious, but well worth it.
Scott, if you see this, where are you? :(
Currently listening to: Our Lady Peace's Thief (acoustic)
Current emotion: bleh
Random observation: I need to make these dark clouds go away.
Tiff. L [11:59 PM]
Couldn't go back to sleep after I woke up, so I watched Ocean's Eleven instead. I love the dry humour of that movie ;) Brad Pitt and George Clooney's constant bantering as well as the Brit guy's thick accent makes me laugh.
Dancing
prancing lights
flit and flutter
across, before
beyond
skies dotted with stars.
...and I lay me down to sleep.
Currently listening to: Beach Boys' Kokomo
Current emotion: .
Random observation: I wish people would stop hurting. :/
Tiff. L [2:01 AM]
[ Wednesday, March 06, 2024 ]
Just woke up from a two-hour nap; will be going back to bed soon, as I'm exhausted. I didn't/couldn't/wouldn't sleep last night, and as such was up till 7pm before I passed out (literally) on my bed. I finally had my evaluation meeting with the college principal and senior don. It was a lot less painful than expected, but it was a pain in the ass all the same. My scheduled meeting time was 9.15, but because they had soooo much to say (to the student housing don) they ended up seeing me at 11.15. I was not impressed in the least, and Kristine even less so, especially since she'd woken up at 8.30 for an 8.45am appointment, only to go in past 10am.
Good news of the day is that I received my package from sookie, yay! ;D And what a fantastic package it was, filled with 4 Seseme Street beanie babies (I love Cookie Moster and Oscar the Grouch best!), a Forever Friends pencil case and a stack of super-cute stationary and stickers. You're bloody marvellous, sooks *hug* I almost started to cry sifting through the stuff, heh. I <3 ya sooks *sniffles a bit and feels loved!*
Headed downtown to pick up some stuff, only to forget the most crucial phone card in my rush to make it for my sci fi tutorial. Today's book was Random Acts of Senseless Violence (which, by the way, everyone seems to find rather amusing that I'm reading it :P), and Trevor started off the tutorial by asking if anyone had done something rather random and violent in the past two weeks. The lack of oxygen and sleep to my brain caused me to volunteer the information of me attempting to throw a rock at Long last week. The conversation went a little like this:
Trevor: so, has anyone done anything rather randomly violent these last few weeks?
Me: Well, I threatened to throw a rock at my friend, if that counts.
*dead silence in the class*
Trevor: A rock?! Why would you do that?
Me: I dunno.. *shrug* It was a random thing *innocent look*
Trevor: woah woah, this is interesting. Quiet everyone *class focusses attention on me, and I start to feel like a bug under the microscope* So, you just picked up a rock and threatened to throw it?
Me: Wha..? No, I have a rock in my room.
*dead silence and looks of disbelief*
Trevor: Ahh.. interesting. And which college are you with? You wouldn't happen to be with Otanabee, would you? *raises eyebrow* [Ed. note: haha, deadbeat OC-ers! See what the profs think of you?! *chuckles evilly*]
Me: On the contrary, I'm from Lady Eaton.
Trevor: So now we should be be aware that LEC students throws rocks randomly at people...
Me: Umm, if it'll help, I'm a student don too *big goofy grin* [That's RA to you Americans :P]
Trevor: Ahh, the plot thickens! So tell me, what stopped you from hurling this rock at the individual?
Me: Umm, the six footer standing in front of me?
*class laughs, and Trevor shakes his head*
Trevor: The person you were aiming the rock at was a six footer?
Me: No, the guy was about 5' 10". The girl standing in front of me was a 6 footer.
*collective oohhs and ahhs in class*
Trevor: So was it your morals that stopped you from hurling that rock?
Me: Nah, I wasn't allowed to because I could've broken the computer.
Trevor: Indoors! Oh my... okay class, beware of Tiffany; capable of random violence...
*classmates makes smartass comments about not messing with the short ones*
Me: *shrug* *grins*
[two minutes later]
Trevor: Anyone else?
Some guy: I chased some pigeons last week...
Trevor: And what pleasure does it give you to be such a menace to these poor innocent little creatures?
Some guy: uhh...
hehee. Fun times in sci fi :) It's amazing how I always leave that tutorial feeling intellectually stimulated; my favourite class ever, as it reflects the true ideal of exchanging ideas and opinions based on factual stripping down of texts and social thought.
Have another meeting with Student Affairs for the second round of my evaluation *bleh* and hey, Cultural Outreach's this Saturday. Yup, Tiff will be making a complete fool of herself on stage come Saturday. Oh I can't wait! [/sarcasm]
I'll go back to bed or something now.
Currently listening to: Katrina and the Waves' Walking on Sunshine
Current emotion: .
Random observation: I know a lot more happened today, but I can't remember *yawns* I babble a lot when I lack sleep, hehe.
Tiff. L [9:44 PM]
Talking to sooks and Wai Wai.
Random quotes:
absolutelyfuzzy (4:41:17 AM): u should go to that huge museum on 5th
absolutelyfuzzy (4:41:22 AM): i think its called saks
LoRd RiGGY (4:56:09 AM): I like ass
Our new aliases:
wooz: woozama been sneezing
fuzz: fuzzama been laid
wai wai: waizama been framed
I <3 sooks and Wai Wai ;D
Currently listening to: Skid Row's I Remember You
Current emotion: .
Random observation: I can always count on these two to make me laugh, especially when I feel like crap.
Tiff. L [5:05 AM]
I've been thinking, and writing. Reading, and studying (odd, I know). Spent some time talking to sooks. Amazing how we can go from random observations to silly diatribes and serious discussions in a matter of seconds, in a matter of years. It's been about six or seven years now.
Today's been funny; while reading Womack's Random Acts of Senseless Violence, I came across a line: "...years from now a diary will be interesting when you can read it and see what you were doing that you forgot about later". In retrospect, I keep this journal so faithfully, not only to ensure that those who care are updated, but so that I can look back a month, a year from now, and remember, maybe reflect.
Inhale.
Exhale.
And you thought you knew me.
Quote of the Day:
Sometimes I wonder about you [sic]. You always come off, to me, as so composed, while I on the other hand am exactly the opposite. But then I read stuff like this and I don't know what to think... - Mica
Currently listening to: Sister Hazel's Champagne High
Current emotion: .
Random observation: You can't know till you understand.
Tiff. L [1:30 AM]
[ Tuesday, March 05, 2024 ]
...I'll take some time now
I'll be okay now.
Give me whispered moonshine
and life sublime;
gentle (hushed) saturnine
dreams gossamer-fine.
Ethereal angels
in my delusion,
wake up
amidst confusion.
Wake up.
It's just a phase
(Isn't it?)
through running days...
But I think
I really do think,
with time,
I'll be me again
I'll be alright again;
Relatively sane
Dancing in the rain.
Tiff. L [5:47 PM]
Blowing fuse boxes seem to be the latest fad in residence. This week alone I've had to get the electricity up again (with the flick of a switch, mind) for no less than three people.
Missed my classes today :\ Not very happy with myself, but wtf *sigh* Five more weeks and it'll be finals. Talk about time flying by. The good news is that I'm halfway done with my science fiction essay, and have started preliminary research for my classics paper. Played chodaidee this evening with Di, Long and Roger. I won, hah! Long brought the leftover brownies over, so I gave some to Kris, Miranda and Heather. Gave Kayla a trim as well, hee. Yup, this RA provides haircuts too, over and above everything else, heh.
Roger and Long were evil today; they spent all evening poking me and pulling my toque over my head, hmph. Bad people.
Been talking to Wai Wai; ages since I last spoke to him, and that silly fella's been coming up with funny names for me. As of today, I've accumulated another two or three nicknames. One of them happens to be:
LoRd RiGGY (12:26:23 AM): woozama bin(been) sneezing
LoRd RiGGY (12:26:26 AM): hahahaha
*rolls eyes and lol*
Currently listening to: Lifehouse's Breathing
Current emotion: .
Random observation: It snowed today.
Tiff. L [12:55 AM]
[ Monday, March 04, 2024 ]
I'm feeling rather introspective/narcissistic at the moment, and inspired by a link Kris left on her page, here's 100 things you wanted/never wanted to know about me.
[Edit: I moved it over to my 'About' page]
Currently listening to: Lee Ann Womack's I Hope You Dance
Current emotion: blah
Random observation: I have so much more to write, ahaha! Maybe next time.
Tiff. L [3:13 AM]
[ Sunday, March 03, 2024 ]
I smell like curry, ugh. I should go shower soon, but am waiting for Kris to come over and get her binder back.
The cookoff adventure was today, and we had so much fun! Di, Sarah, Kayla and I caught the 5.50 bus downtown and shopped for ingredients before heading over to Long and Dru's, only to be faced with locked doors. Nobody was home, damnit. So we're sitting outside, in the bloody cold, when Sarah starts fiddling with one of the windows. And ohmygod, it opened!! We looked at each other, and next thing you know, Di was climbing in and she had the door unlocked for us in 2 minutes. Yes, we broke into Long and Dru's house *big grin* I'm so proud of us, haha! Sarah's now an honorary ghetto girl, thank you. Susan joined us in 10 minutes, and as soon as she got here we re-enacted the scene and took a picture, hehe.
I got to work in the kitchen, and Long came back less than 20 minutes later, faced with 5 girls who basically broke into his place and made themselves comfortable. The girls watched cable tv while Long and I cooked for almost three hours. The final results of our labour were curry chicken, rice, sour/spicy (asam) seafood and brownies by me, and 5 different kinds of shrimp by Long. Who'd have thought you could cook shrimp in so many ways? Played chess with Di for about 20 minutes, but we didn't get to finish the game 'cause the food was ready.
Everyone stuffed themselves with food, and it was agreed that Iron Chef Trent-style was officially declared a tie, word :) Dessert was browinies and vanilla ice cream, and everyone could only manage a tiny slice, ugh. So full.
So we came back eleven-ish, and I'm so tired. I'm glad the girls had a good time, especially Sarah, since this was her birthday thing. So yah, yay us! :)
Currently listening to: Missy Elliot feat. Eve's For My People
Current emotion: tired but pleased
Random observation: I haven't cooked like that in the longest time, heh.
Tiff. L [11:40 PM]
Kayla, this is for you.
[taken from ITV F1]
Lap 31: The world has gone mad!!! Alex Yoong is in the points in sixth place. Both Minardis are in the top-six. Paul Stoddart must be going nuts!
Damn Minardi, lol!
Tiff. L [1:47 AM]
It's been a busy day. I feel way better than I did last night, thanks to Tylanol :) To Jan Ee, Cathy, Kai, Laura, sooks and Sharon, thank you for the messages *hugs to all* And Kris, thanks for the card. Cheered me up to no end :) *hug*
Spent the day sniffling and sneezing periodically, but it was something I could deal with. Had lunch with Di, Kayla and Chris before we drove to Landsdowne Place to shop. I have a new pair of shoes, yay! *dances around* Threw out my old Timberlands, hee. Spent some time in Canadian Tire to buy stuff and see the cost of paint (Kayla, Sarah and I are painting our rooms in fall). We stopped by Reid's Dairy after that and bought ice cream cones; omg, I had a pralines and cream cone that was massive, and it only cost me a dollar *shakes head in disbelief* (Hey, I can't say no to ice cream!).
Chris was nice enough to drive me to to OC after that because I had dance practice at 4pm. Finished at 6 and it was off to Marley's for dinner. We stopped by to pick Susan on the way, and got to meet her cat Kiwi :) It was a nice evening out.
We got back and relaxed for a while before heading down to the Junior Common Room to watch the first F1 race of the season. It was crazy; 9 cars out of the race in the first lap, and only 8 finished! Chris, Kayla and I had a good laugh (not to mention a few good swears) watching the race. Ferrari came in first, with Williams and McLaren coming in second and third respectively. The best was watching Minardi, with KL (yay Malaysia!) emblazoned across the side of the car. They came in 5th and 7th, and we couldn't stop laughing, because they'd performed better at this race than they did the last three years!
So I'm back in my room, drugged up with a semi-sore nose, yakking on ICQ with Shean Min, Sharon and Erica. Erica just asked me to move in with her, but I already have a place, so she's gonna try someone else. I think the Tylanol's starting to take effect now. *smiles sleepily*
Currently listening to: Breathe's Raise Your Hands To Heaven
Current emotion: okay
Random observation: I love this song; it's so 80's.
Tiff. L [12:57 AM]
[ Friday, March 01, 2024 ]
In four hours my sniffles have turned into a full-blown cold. Have already finished half a box of Kleenex, and my nose can rival that of Rudoph's. Watched The Lion King, Monsters Inc., Cayote Ugly and Mallrats while feeling sorry for myself. I freakin' hate being sick. I have such a full schedule for this weekend too :(
*ah choo!*
Currently listening to: Moby's Flower
Current emotion: ill
Random observation: woah, I'm woozy (literally), heh.
Tiff. L [11:33 PM]
Watched Monsters Inc. again last night, first with Kayla, and after that, with Asha. Jenn came by at 4am and we talked for a while. Everyone says I type too loud. I happen to like the sound of my fingers on the keyboard go *clickity-clack* *clickity-clack* If you have a problem with that, go away.
I like my room. Posters on the wall, photographs of friends and loved ones everywhere. Cards, a huge-ass Malaysian flag, notes from friends, even more photographs, my Canada hat hanging from a hook..."...I'm not crazy, or anything..." Books lining the shelves, my Absolut 'shrine', toys, more Absolut ads. Loose papers, notebooks, flyers, even more books, all piled on my desk with pens and accessories strewn everywhere. God, I really do have a lot of photographs in my room. On the fridge, the shelves, the walls, my closet doors...damn. My desktop 'puter sits on the far left of the desk, with a rubber duck adorning the top of my monitor (It's Defenestration Duck, on loan from Kayla). Defenestration watches me sleep at night, hehe. He's a cutie.
I should take out my recycling, hmm. "...tell me, did you fall for a shooting star, one without a permanent scar and then you miss me while you're looking for yourself out there...". It's almost 4pm. Tick tick tick, goes the clock. Close your eyes and wish yourself away from this place, any place. Look, my fuchsia pink socks! A rainbow toque, blue jeans, black sweatshirt with a streak of lightning emblazoned across the front.
I glance around and see pictures of mom and dad, Audrey and Colin. My cousins, my college friends. High school, university, my dogs. Moments frozen in snapshots of a life lived... or maybe just existed. "...and I don't know what's happening and I can't pretend..."
Float towards
sunlight
so bright.
flutter, hum of wings
touch the waters
-stay-
drift, dream.
Currently listening to: Our Lady Peace's Carnival
Current emotion: random
Random observation: I like my random moments.
Tiff. L [4:05 PM]
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