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12/25/2003
"Nightmare in a dream"
Staring at liquor bottles in front of me, thinking about yesterday and tomorrow.
Been talking to sooks for the longest time. Am looking forward to seeing her in a couple of weeks. She just revamped her site, so go check it out.
It's Halloween tomorrow, and Alex is throwing a big bash at his place. Di's dressing up as a school girl, and the rest of us are going as drunks. Or something. Heh.
Actually, only Sarah and Punky are going. Am gonna stay home and bum. Parties were never my scene, and I doubt it ever will be.
I've refused the easy way out and I'll refuse it again. I have stuff to do, and it'll get done in time, but for the moment, all I need is space to sort me out. The book isn't finished, the book isn't closed for good. I'm just keeping it bookmarked while I take a breather.
Bowling is good. Bowling is very, very good. Geeky, but good ;)
Lovely lady, constantly there. Thank you.
"We're all fucked up, which means we're all normal. It's like a double negative..." - Punky
I try, honestly I do. I gave up part of a dream months before, but right now I'm giving it up entirely. All that I've held important for so many years, so many nights. Giving it up, for a chance to heal, to be whole again.
So I'll keep writing, keep rambling. Keep my head above the waters, keep trying.
Giving up on a dream, but not giving up on me.
Currently listening to: Katrien's Holding Silence
Current emotion: .
Random observation: Subway ran out of my favourite macadamia and white choc chip cookies again..!