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12/25/2003
"Oxymoronic irony"
Argumentative narcissist
anal-retentive pessimist
Contemplative and quirky,
Psychosomatic crazy!
Stubborn as hell,
noise you can't quell,
dreamer and quiet,
sometimes a riot;
Loved and hated,
highly overrated,
harsh yet kind,
not heart but mind.
Control freak and jerk,
child of many quirks,
mental case, drama queen,
none and all
that you've known, read and seen.
Replies: 2 peanuts
not related to anything...but i needed to vent....and i figured since i usually say less than 100 words a day to anyone in person, id just come here and type. feel free to ignore....its not worth anything.
so, im not really "normal" in my head i dont think, however, im not fucking crazy in a harmful or bad way...i just have my own set of rules and beliefs and ideas about everything and human nature. and sometimes they are weird. i guess they are the result of being totally unhappy with existence. meh. oh well. but i sometimes look at people, and im just amazed at how some people are just so content with not opening their eyes...to anything....the good, the bad, the boring, the exciting, the past, history, the present history being written, the future....how everything is tied together...everyone and everything are ONE. yet people can say things to hurt other people, whom they DONT EVEN KNOW. people kill other people for the lamest reasons. people make other people feel like less of a human being for NO reason at all. they are cold. heartless. yet at some point later in the day they may become the kindest person ever, if they choose to be. but why? why cant people just BE THEMSELVES at all times? what the **** is so hard about that. everyone has something to hide. everyone has something to share. nobody is better off than anyone else. everyone hurts, everyone feel shame, everyone smiles, everyone laughs, everyone has every single emotion, however great or small, in common at SOME point in their life. why is it that some people are so outwardly cold though? myself included. afterall im only human. but i try to be aware of my actions and their effects at all times. but some people act without thinking. some people make you feel this small--->. and i dont understand why. how can civilization, on the personal level and the world/universal level, progress if everyone keeps hiding behind this image. people just need to wake up. they need to STOP FUCKING ACTING and start being themselves. and the worst part is, most people dont even realize what they are doing. they wake up and follow their preconditioned actions, thinking its their own free will....the masses are brainwashed. people try to fit into some sort of clique because it makes them feel stronger, better...they are misinformed. they need to be individuals...they need to learn..think...create...just BE. and in doing so, everyone would find the harmony that DOES exist, but is not yet realized. i dont know...it is just hard to be alone.
and some people are always going to be alone. "no one is ever truly alone" is bullshit. thats not true. some people are always alone. some people have always been alone. for SOME reason, people are too superficial...and it fucking hurts. its disheartening to be forced into feeling like you are a NOBODY in the world, because everyone else thinks they are somebody special.
well, there is not one person who is anything but a NOBODY and there is not one person who is anthing but SOMEBODY. and i wish something would change. someday. maybe the next life. maybe not. maybe 5000 years from now when they are studying our world like we study ancient Rome or Greece....maybe not. maybe in 50,000 years when nothing is the same as it is. maybe the world will be different. maybe not. maybe i am completely wrong...maybe im nothing more than a depressed moron who likes to justify personal emotions and feelings by blaming others...maybe thats all it is.
but i just wish everyone would realize that no matter what differences are constantly shoved in our faces on a daily basis, we all see the same sky, we all see the same sun, we all breathe the same air, and we will all die.
oh boo-fucking-hoo...pathetic, stupid little me.
Posted by abcdefghijklmnopqrstuvwxyz @ 11/06/2024 04:09 PM GMT
"The love and hate that I create within me, trying to be".
People are odd creatures. As a collective we make up society, and as a collective we impose norms on others, norms that not everyone but the majority agree on. We decide as a collective what is normal, ignoring the individual for the better of many. Sometimes it works, but more often than not, it doesn't. And that's why it sucks that way :/
I guess many are just content to close their eyes, because to open them would be to see the truth, to acknowledge the truth that things around us are shitty and messed, that we are innately selfish creatures, self-absorbed and self-serving, and not as on top of the food chain as we'd like to believe ourselves to be.
We are someone and no one at the same time, but as contradicting as that may be, it is the truth, because we are special to some, and nobody to others. It's human nature to want to be appreciated, to be seen and to be heard, because attention seperates you from the herd, thus granting "special" status.
I guess at the end of the day, it really is all relative :/
...and you know you're *always* welcome to vent here.
Posted by t @ 11/07/2024 01:43 AM GMT