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12/25/2003
"Starting to believe"

I regret to say I never knew you all my life. I knew your name, your wife, your daughter. I've visited your house, watched your TV, ate your food. I spoke to you as children would, with half a mind and even less attention. I don't think I've been disrespectful, but I do think I should've given you more time.

I was so preoccupied with childish grief I couldn't see your grown-up one. It was, after all, barely a 28 day difference, and she was like a second mother to me, so I hope you'll forgive me for that.

I heard them talk about you: about how upset you were, about how you wanted to let go. I heard about how much you cared, but I guess, back then, it was just words on children's ears. I was selfish, but I hope you'll forgive me of that.

I spoke to you once; really, really sat down and talked to you, right after I came back from my first year at university. We had an actual conversation, and I was amazed at how easily the words flowed. You didn't mind my stubborness, I truly appreciated your wisdom. I didn't tell you then, so I hope you'll forgive me for that.

I don't know you, but I remember you. They say a part of you died with her when she left, and today, I believe it. I wish I realized a little more how lonely you were, how independent you were. I admire that trait in people, but I never got to tell you that.

Perhaps I truly am starting to believe.

I hope you're in a happier place, and that you found what you've been looking for.

Replies: 2 peanuts

Muahz Merry Christmas Tiff miss u!

Posted by Chris @ 12/22/2003 02:24 PM GMT

merry christmas chris!

Posted by t @ 12/23/2003 01:50 PM GMT