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12/25/2004
"Just another word"

After thinking it over for the past few days, I've decided to make an official (and public) retraction on my favourite and most stubborn conclusion: there is no (romantic) love, only lust.

Bear in mind that I came to this conclusion at the "I am invincible!" age of 18, and around that time I also believed that going at the age of 25 was a pretty damn good idea. Of course, 25 was altered to 30 so I could get my PhD and refund my parents for all they've spent on me in my lifetime. And lookit, I'm already 23 and nowhere near completing my 7/ 12 year plan! Not to say I still don't think it's a fine idea, but I digress. Hehe, come to think of it, we had some pretty fun arguments back in the day, and my stubbornness always held out against the onslaught of reason from the people surrounding me. In the words of Norman, "...but just think of how many times anyone could win an argument with u. aah.." *cue rolling eyes*

...and thanks, Mung, for pointing out this annoying factor :P

Now, to say that "there is no love, only lust" may sound harsh, but hear me out. Love, at the end of the day, is but another word we use to describe the things we do and the emotions we feel. After all, everything feels safer and less alien when identified and pigeonholed, right? Or maybe that's just me. Either way, The whole concept of love, in definition, to me, is a whole lot of like coupled with major heapings of tolerance, patience, and even more tolerance. But maybe it's just that, I'm a stickler for definition.

Why the sudden retraction?

Well, maybe I'm right, maybe I'm wrong. But for me to insist that *my* conclusion is the only explanation for such a phenomenon would require a supremely large ego, a generous helping of stupidity and sheer bravado.

I make up in bravado where I lack ego, and while I may have stupid moments, this ain't it. At least, I hope not, heh.

I am older, and possibly, a little wiser. Perhaps more cynical, more set in my ways, but I'd like to think that with age comes knowledge, and with knowledge, less fear. And as my fear of the unknown decreases, and pride takes second place to truth, I'd like to think that I can apologize when need be, show gratitude when the situation demands it, and above all, admit that I may be wrong.

Perhaps there is such a thing as love. Perhaps there isn't. Whatever the outcome may be, I have no right to criticize something that I may only *think* I know of. At the end of the day, "love" is nothing but another word I toss around when thinking of booze and blenders, something I have to 'discuss' on an every-other-day basis in class, or just that feeling that comes over me when thinking of music, books, and cloudy/cloudless blue skies.

I think I love life today. But just today, mind you.

How's that? ;D

[I haven't covered all bases for argument, because I seldom do. To each his own, yah?]

On an entirely different note, Matthew Good was in Peterborough, huh. And I'm gonna go make me a strawberry-banana smoothie now.

Currently listening to: Train's When I Look to the Sky
Random observation: Two polished stones, two important words.

Believe.

In what you do, in what you say, in what you see. In your self, in the best and worst of others, in all the possibilities of here and now.

Dream.

Of the impossible, of that perfect cloudless day, of sunshine. Of life and living, not just surviving.

Dream that you believe in the dream you want, in the dream you're in, in the dream you wish could be.

I got a little bit of reason
For everything I've done...
And yeah I'm lost but maybe I'll be fine
- Better than Ezra's I Do