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Dear Blog,
it's almost 3.30am, and I'm still awake. What else is new? I'm still procrastinating, still thinking, trying to stop feeling.
The silliest, funniest and craziest thing happened. I baked Punky her favourite cake to cheer her up, but couldn't make it downtown 'cause DJ had fallen asleep. So I called to let her know of my "brilliant" plan (which she had no clue whatsoever), and to apologize, and then I just started crying. Because I let her down, and I hate letting people down. The irony is that she didn't even know, and wasn't even expecting me, lol.
I cried. Dear lord, I cried. I hate hate hate letting people down, and I feel like I let someone down tonight. It's as if I'm constantly letting people down, never, if ever, living up to expectations.
I hate me.
Self-loathing,
wallowing
in pain skin-deep
in pores permeate
like a dark warm blanket
that covers the soul
and drags it under
tearing it asunder
deeper and deeper
through a private hell.
You don't know me.
Posted by Tiff at November 15, 2023 03:32 AMAh Tiffy, you could never let anyone down. Especially not one whom had not an inkling of what your "master plan" had been. You were thinking of someone, had tried to do something nice for them, and the circumstances beyond your control prevented you from completing your task. But no where in this sequence of events did you ever let anyone down. Perhaps you disappointed yourself ... but you haven't even let yourself down in this endeavor.
Smile little woozie, because you'll always be my hero, you'll always be my number one, and for that you could never let me down.
Posted by: ..:: FaBLe ::.. on November 17, 2023 11:29 PMhey hey, what's going on girl... *HUG*
Posted by: yimin on November 16, 2023 12:45 AM