Woah, it's already Wednesday. Happy Halloween y'all. My week of school's already over, thank goodness. Screwed up majorly in my science fi quiz, bleah. Finally, a breather after a couple of seriously shitty days. Getting school work, donning and life sorted ain't an easy thing. Been ranting for the last few days, hmm. Am still trying to keep a positive attitude over and above everything. Kayla's right when she says I have a problem section, lol. What would I give to trade some of them off? Nothing. Because under all that, they're really nice people (even though sometimes they drive me up the wall).
Nothing extremely memorable the past few days, besides Rez Council where I tried to steal a couple of really cool battery lamp thingies from Shawn, helping Kayla get her Leafs blanket back from Sarah L. and whatnot. Am gonna be cooking for Sarah H. on Thursday I think. Oh yeah, I headed downtown with Kristina to get candy for trick or treating in rez this Friday; it should be fun. Had some crazy people out in the quad singing Bon Jovi's Always at the top of their lungs just now, heh. I suspect that alcohol had quite a bit to do with that, but whatever. Christina came by with candy, yay. There's a peanut butter thing underneath the other stuff, word. Yay peanut butter! :) Would love to go to bed now if not for the fact that I have to do lockup this week. Marianne called me last night and we talked shop for a good 40 minutes or so. I really should be starting on some essays due in upcoming weeks, but am too zonked out right now.

...In all its misery
It will always be what I love and hated
And maybe take a ride to the other side
We're thinkin' of
We'll slip into the velvet glove
And be jaded...

Mm, Aerosmith kicks ass. Amazing how after all these years, Steve Tyler can still rock *grins* Just finished making a batch of peanut butter fudge. Baking always makes me feel better.

Song of the moment: Wet Wet Wet's Love is All Around
Current emotion: okay

Do you know what it's like to be torn? To want to be there for everyone, and make them feel better? And yet, every thing you tell them, you wish you could believe yourself? Every time you make someone feel better, you wish someone would do the same for you? But it never works, no matter who is there, because you know the truth already. It sucks. It's a toss up between being placed in a spot, and feeling helpless. I hate it.
I'm so so tired of being the sensible one, the dependable one. I'm tired of knowing, and yet still asking. I'm tired of understanding, but still dreaming. I'm tired of seeing people being hurt, and I hate the pain, because I feel it too. Which is totally stupid, since technically, it has nothing to do with me. And yet, when people are sad, when people are down, it pulls me down too. My Senior Don told me yesterday that while I may "have a heart as large as Texas" (which I seriously doubt :P), I can't keep covering for others. Well geez, do you think I enjoy it?! I can't help what I feel, and my instincts always tell me to reach out, and so I do. And I cover for others not because of them, but because I think of the people who will be affected should there be no one at all. Besides, I love being there for others.
I love people. People are simply wonderful (well, most of them anyway--I guess I'm just lucky) and I know so many fantastic individuals. I can't help but care, but sometimes, caring hurts. I love my friends, and it saddens me when shitty things happen to them. They shouldn't have to feel unloved, because they are loved.
She wants to end it all, even when I keep reminding her that there's so much to live for. But sometimes, I can't help but wonder, could she be right? I gave her Autumn Day yesterday. I'm hoping that by reading that, she'll remember that yes, life sucks, that yes, things are difficult, but that does not mean that no one cares.
You're probably a friend if you're reading this. Don't worry, I'm not gonna do something stupid (especially you, Heather :P). I'm just, airing out. I've had so much bottled in me, I need to air out. And I can't say this to the people who are living with me (even though you're probably reading this) because it's just not right. I have no rights. Not now anyway.
I told Anne today, and I will say the same here: I love donning. I love being able to help, and to be there for others. While there are many sucky things happening right now, and I may wonder if I'm losing my sanity and head, I do not regret this. I may be tired, but I will not give up, and I do not want you guys (not just those in rez, but all of you!) to feel as if you should stop confiding so that I'll feel better. Don't. I'm more afraid of the unknown than what I know and see before me. I'll feel worse should you stop confiding. Keep it coming. I am strong, I will rise to the challenge, and I will, with your help, emerge a wiser person in the end. I love all of you very very much, and I am always, always there for you.

Mm, and before I forget, in the midst of all that, I just wanted to thank some people for the hugs today: Roger, Heather, Asha, Sunday, Jeff (X3)[for hugging me every single time you saw me!]. I really appreciate it, especially me being the hug-aholic person that I am *grins*

Song of the moment: Blessid Union of Souls' I Wanna Be There
Current emotion: Physically exhausted, emotionally drained

I hate having to explain myself to people, especially to those I thought knew me.

Song of the moment: Hole's Celebrity Skin
Current emotion: Tired

Don’t talk to me
For I am bitter within
Full of anger and hatred
My world in a spin

Don’t talk to me
Because I just might cry
Clouded mind, senseless thoughts
Just say goodbye.

There are times when I wonder about existence, and the reasons why we're here. There are times when I wonder about people, and why they do what they do. Why they think the way they do, act the way they do. Why people hurt one another knowingly. Why there is this need to inflict hurt and pain. Why we pretend when with others. Why we wear a facade, more often than not. Why some people take others at face value, and nothing else. Why fear can hold one back in a vise-like grip, and never let go. Why confidence intimidates. Why lies are seen as truth.

All you wanted was a miracle
All you needed was a miracle.

I need to get out of this defunct state. Funny how on the outside I look just fine, but inside things are falling apart. and I don't even know what's the source of all this.

Song of the moment: Darude's Drums of New York
Current emotion: Lost

Every time I listen to Vertical Horizon's Miracle I just want to cry. Which is kinda wierd, especially since I haven't cried for quite a while. Wait, I did cry last week. Or was it the week before? It was when I received a really nice note from a friend. But I digress. Back to VH's Miracle. I don't even think it's the lyrics, but the tune itself. Or maybe it's just an excuse for me to shed tears. Maybe any excuse is a good excuse, right? Maybe Becca is right. My life is ruled by fear, and it's because of fear that I refuse to live my life the way I want it. I'm not saying I'm not happy the way things are. As I've said before, I count my blessings and am thankful for a lot. But is there more? I'm not making much sense. I think I'm losing my mind. Why do I still search for a miracle? There is nothing out there but heartache and pain, betrayal and hate. But a miracle. Man.

Stanza of the Day:
Give and give and give
and die an empty death.
Step on my soul
While I breathe a final breath
From this pain
Just take me away
Going insane
Day after day.

I'll never make sense, not ever.

Song of the moment: Uncle Sam's I Don't Ever Want To See You Again
Current emotion: Lost

Roger came back today and he bought me a present, yay! Yep, I'm now the proud owner of a Toronto Maple Leafs' (NHL Hockey team) shot glass, nyehehe. I am elite! :P Thankies Ra Ra. 'sides that, everyone's back, which kinda sucks, since I was kinda enjoying my 'alone' time. Don't get me wrong, it's good to have everyone back, but, bah, you know what I mean *shakes head*
Kristina got back around 5-ish. We headed to OC for dinner with Vanessa and Asha. Had a good talk with her and Tanay about donning and stuff. Am this close to swearing my head off over what's been happening, but I will breathe, I will exert self-control, and I will not, I repeat, I will not stoop to her level. Never. I have too much pride and self-respect for that. Dessert Night was on,and man was there a huge turnout. I had a short meeting with the floor reps in South Wing after that, among them Mat, Jeff, Nicole and Dana. Nice to know that Green section has good floor reps. My floor reps were MIA, so I think I'll go hunt them down and shoot them or something :P
Helped Kristina colour a couple of streaks of her hair a bright red (I now have red fingers since I wore no gloves, bleah).

Song of the moment: BBMak's I'm Not in Love
Current emotion: Blah

Was checking sooks' blog, and there was a link for a personality test, so being the narcissist that I am, had to take it.

I am a Healer.
More of an introvert than an extrovert. 50-50 for sensitive-intuitive, more perceptive than judgemental and am more of a feeler than a thinker.

You are a rare individual. Idealistic almost to a fault, the Healer is known for his or her selfless and caring nature. Oftentimes a quiet sort, you have a hidden passion for life that no one else can understand. You want to -- and you can -- make such a difference in this world. The question you often find yourself asking is, "Why can't other people see this side of me?" Unfortunately, that's just your nature. Lots of people (who you may resent) go out seeking attention, but you'd rather have it come to you. That doesn't always happen because its just not a perfect world.

People who don't know you might first think "boring" when speaking with you. You know better, though -- even if you are tempted to believe them at times. To those that know better, you can be an incredibly special friend. Seek out these kinds of people and you'll find life to be much richer -- let the others miss out on the hidden treasure that is you.

Throughout your life, you may face an awkward internal fight between good and bad (what an understatement). Your desire to do right is balanced by an equally-powerful need to avoid wrong. Everyone makes bad decisions -- that's just a part of life. But when you do something you know is wrong, that stupid conscience of yours makes you feel terrible (yay for stupid consciences). Oh, the horrors of being a Healer.

Possible Careers: Social Worker, College Professor (exactly where I'm heading, hmm...)

The expert's opinion:
You are quiet, reflective, and idealistic... BORING! C'mon now, I think it's great that you're so loyal and laid back, but get your ass out of the background and into the limelight! A little bit of attention couldn't hurt.

Besides, who knows, maybe people will start listening to your hairbrained ideas rather than stuffing you into lockers. Yeah, you know I'm right. (have never been stuffed into a locker before :P)

Possible Career: Voo-doo Master (ooh, this ought to be fun...)

Song of the moment: Escape's I'll Be There
Current emotion: Reserved

Robbie Williams, Better Man

Send someone to love me
I need to rest in arms
Keep me safe from harm
In pouring rain

As my soul heals the shame
I will grow through this pain
Lord I'm doin' all I can
To be a better man

Watched That 70's Show with Kayla and had dinner downtown at Kelsey's with her, Chris and Di.

I need time to think, to reflect.

Thought of the Day:
It's alright, I'm okay
I think God can explain
I believe I'm the same
I get carried away
It's alright, I'm ok
I think God can explain
I'm relieved, I'm relaxed
I'll get over it...
- Splendor's I Think God Can Explain

I'll get over it. The story of my life.

Song of the moment: Splendor's I Think God Can Explain
Current emotion: Contemplative

Yikes, I almost forgot. Happy Birthday Norman *hugs*

Got back from downtown with Kayla, Di and Chris. Chris had a punctured tire, so while waiting Kayla and I helped Sarah send an e-mail out for school or something. We headed the a grocery store nearby and bought whatever we needed before stopping by at Chapters to buy Asha's birthday present. We didn't go to the LCBO because I was too broke, and I still had some vodka in my room. Kayla and I bought Asha a really neat cookbook :) Anyway, was chatting with Pascal and Ricky when I got back before I headed downstairs to Heather's ice cream party held in honour of her niece Jessica. Jess is 9 and really cute; she's visiting for the weekend, so I have to be careful of the things I say and the songs I listen to *grins* Ah well.
I watched Jay and Silent Bob Strike Back; it is outstandingly hilarious, hehe. Walked around rez, including North wing because almost all the dons were out. The girls decided to do their nails, and I got roped in as a "volunteer" for Jess. I am now typing with nails painted a different colour each, ack. Kinda reminds me of my hair: bright red, bright pink, blue, acid green, purple... *shakes head* You only live once! :) Anyway, between Kayla, Chris and myself, we finished my bottle of Peach Schnapps. Oh, and my vodka's almost gone too, which is kinda scary, since I came to school with a 1 litre bottle and it's almost finished, argh.However, I did hand several shots out, so it's not really as bad as I think it is. Mm, and Becca came by with another Absolut ad to add to my collection, yay. So far I have Absolut Citron, Absolut Obsession, Absolut Appeal and Absolut Marilyn. I love Absolut ads; they're a work of art. So yeah, I'm happy. Am going to bed now.

Song of the moment: Ja Rule's What Would I Be Without You
Current emotion: Content

I've been trying to blog for the past 4 hours and I keep getting distracted. Was too sleepy yesterday, and also, I've been having problems putting thoughts down. I hate it when that happens.
I missed watching the sun rise yesterday :( Cooked lunch for Kayla and myself (chicken curry and potatoes, yum). Heather and I walked to Mackenzie House and back; it was so windy out. Seems that it should be snowing soon. Anyway, spent a good portion of the day listening to old CDs and staring at the screen. Watched The Simpsons with Kayla. Met Miranda's mom before heading for dinner; Sarah H., Kayla and myself bought stuff from OC and ate in the LEC cafeteria. Steve was there, and we were just bugging each other, haha. Spent some time talking to Ricky on AIM later; it was hilarious, because we were coming up with weird names for each other. My project of the week is to write a hugging poem, lol. Anyway, Heather, Becca and I took our sleeping bags out and we headed to the steps besides the river. We just sat there and chatted. Actually, Becca and Heather chatted; I was just staring at the waters. We got in a hour plus later, since it was getting really cold. Chris is back at Trent, and I think we're drinking tonight after a quick trip to the LCBO today. Oh, and before I forget, here's a plug for Chris since Kayla and I will be dragging his ass outta bed to take a picture of us on the roof at 6.30am, hee. He "volunteered" *winks* (actually, I kinda just told him he was doing it, regardless of his personal feelings, hehe). so yeah, YAY CHRIS! Going out, will continue blogging laters.

Song of the moment: Erasure's Always
Current emotion: Okay

I want to blog but I want to sleep even more. Will blog tomorrow.

Song of the moment: Shawn Stockman's Vision of a Sunset
Current emotion: Half-asleep

Can't describe anything, can't write, can't speak my mind. All I can do is sit here and listen and feel.

Current playlist:
Billie Myers' Kiss the Rain
New Radicals' Someday We'll Know
New Radical's You Get What You Give
Fuel's Shimmer
Firehouse's Love of a Lifetime
U2's Still Haven't Found What I'm Looking For
U2's Elevation
U2's Mysterious Ways
Newsboys' Entertaining Angels
Pearl Jam's Wishlist
Savage Garden's Hold Me
Elton John's Someday Out of the Blue
Sydney Forrest's Once in a Blue Moon
Bon Jovi's Something For the Pain
Flying Pickets' Only You
Bon Jovi's Lie To Me
Bon Jovi's It's Hard Letting You Go
Erasure's Always
Gabrielle's Out of Reach
Collective Soul's Disciplined Breakdown
Linkin Park's Runaway
Go West's Track of My Tears
Madonna's I'll Remember
Usher's U Remind Me
Ja Rule's What Would I Be Without You
Shawn Stockman's Vision of a Sunset
Eve 6's Promise
Dave Matthew's Band's Crash into Me
Tantric's Breakdown
Journey's Open Arms
Led Zeppelin's Stairway to Heaven
Live's I Alone
Stone Temple Pilots' Interstate Love Song
Prodigy's Mindfields
Vertical Horizon's Miracle

Quote of the Day:
...the "looking" looking ones are the dumbasses, because they look so hard that they become delusional and see things which aren't there :P - Tiff. L

Man, where did the time go? I was up at 6 and have basically wasted the day away in front of the 'puter, yay me :P Called home and spoke to everyone; Colin's doing well in school, so I'm really happy for him. Went for a walk this morning, it was nice to be by myself for a bit. Actually, come to think of it, I spent most of the day myself. It was cool. I really wanted to rant mid-afternoon, but I accidently clicked on something and lost my whole blog, bah. Spent the rest of the day looking at deviations, reading blogs, reading mail, gosh. Was talking to sooks on ICQ for the longest time too. I lost track of who else I spoke to online; I just know it was a lot *shrug* Had lunch with Kayla and walked with Asha to OC for dinner. Fed Tanay coz he was hungry and spent some time downstairs at Heather's. Downloaded a couple of new songs; am feeling very tired now. It;s been a totally unproductive day. Oh, and before I forget, I updated my About page a little. I want to rant, but for the moment I'm too tired. I'm going to bed. Oh, and I'm gonna trek up the drumlin tomorrow morning if the weather is fine. Yah, I wanna see the sun rise. I can't remember anything right now, so I'm going to bed. I think I said that before. Hmm. *shrug*

Song of the moment: Pearl Jam's Wishlist
Current emotion: sleepy

Am almost done with Canticle for Leibowitz, yay! Spent the day reading and just hanging out in my room. Spoke to sooks, Shean Min, Norman, Roger and Rudy over ICQ. Headed over to OC for lunch with Kayla, and we stopped by the library to see John and talk to him for a bit. Had a nap mid-afternoon. Cleaned my room somewhat before cooking for Kayla and myself. We watched The Empire Strikes Back, it was cool! Yoda cracks me up, hehe. Am rather restless.

On another note, I've been paying a lot more attention to the music I listen to, and among them, I highly recommend Blessid Union of Souls. They have a very unique feel to their music, and Eliot Sloan's voice simply rocks. Most people would know them for I Believe and Hey Leonardo (which I don't really like), but among my favourite tracks by them would be Hold Her Closer, I Wanna Be There, Let Me Be The One and That's The Girl (I've Been Telling You About). They also have a track in the Pokemon Movie soundtrack entitled Brother, My Brother. I remember crying when I first heard that, hmm (I'm a wuss y'see). Listen closely to the stuff they sing. I like them because they're not so popular that they lose their individuality, and their lyrics are, woah. So yeah. Check them out. They're cool :)

Stanza of the Day:
Dying, leaving others crying
But shush, hear the wind sighing
Another dream lost, but hold on
For death brings another new born.

Quote(s) of the Day:
Eeeewwww, that's INCEST!! - Tiff. L
Hes quite flabby you know, for a human - C3PO
I feel all comtempty! - Olaf

Song of the moment: Blessid Union of Souls' Hold Her Closer
Current emotion: Alright

Mom just called, hehe. Talked to her for quite a bit about my weekend, school and the donning situation. I told her I'd quit if the situation got out of hand, but I'm not a quitter, so we'll see what happens. Am talking to Heng Han on ICQ; it's been ages since I last spoke to him. He's funny, hehe. Hopefully I'll be able to visit him in Melbourne, Aussie next year, since he's promised me a place to stay and food (cooked by him!). It'll be fun, especially since Norman, Shean Min and the others will be there too.
I thought I should mention; climbing the residence roof is illegal (or against the rules anyway) but what the heck, it's Reading Break and I'm bored :P

Song of the moment: R. Kelly feat. Jay Z's Fiesta
Current emotion: Happy

Went out for a walk with Heather last night before heading to Kayla's to watch Lyle the Kindly Viking (A VeggieTales cartoon). We coloured a single strip of Kayla's hair red, and it looks great *grins* I went to bed around 12.30 and woke up a couple of time before getting out of bed at 5am. Spoke to Shean Min for a bit; poor guy's going through mid-terms, and by the sounds of it, it ain't easy. Here's hoping for the best for all my friends back home. I was supposed to go climb the Eaton College roof with Kayla at 6.30, but I just stopped by her room and she's still asleep, so I figure we'll postpone it.

My plans for the week:
1. Climb the EC residence roof.
2. Camp out in front of the library steps (or thereabouts) at night to sleep under the open sky.
3. Trek up the drumlin behind EC at 6am to watch the sun rise.
4. Get 1000 words down for my Theatre paper.
5. Get 700 words down for my Drama paper.
6. Finish Canticle for Leibowitz
7. Finish The Lord of the Rings
8. Catch up on readings.

Let's see how much of this I can actually accomplish *grins*

Song of the moment: Gabrielle's Out of Reach
Current emotion: Wide awake

I'm back!!

To all my regular readers (yeah, all 2 of you), sorry I left without a note or anything *grins* It was a rather last minute decision to head over to Heather's for the weekend, away from all the crazy stuff at school. I didn't realize how much I need a break from it all 'til I actually left. I had an excellent weekend. A quick recap:

Friday, 19th October 2001.
As planned, I was gonna head over to Heather's until I received that blasted e-mail which got most of us student dons in a huff because of the disgustingly overbearing and condescending tone in it. Had to call Peter Northrop, but he wasn't in. I wasn't sure if that meant I could leave, since technically I was supposed to stay on rez for Reading Break. Spoke to Pascal online for a bit, ranting away (sorry Pascal) until Peter returned my call and gave me the go-ahead. Heather's dad picked us up (we stopped by at Traill College for me to drop my assignment) and reached Codrington around 4-ish. I spent most of the evening sleeping, waking up only to have dinner and a short conversation with Heather's parents.

Saturday, 20th October 2001.
Woke up at 3am feeling rested, but everyone was still asleep (for obvious reasons) lol. Relaxed, fell asleep again and woke up at 7-ish. Started reading Canticle for Leibowitz for my science fiction class. We spent the day at the mall and several bookstores 'cause Heather had to get some books for her children's lit course. Mrs Jackson bought us huge ice cream cones; I felt like a child again *grins* We bought pumpkins on the way back for carving, yay! Spent the evening relaxing. Heather helped me re-colour my hair a striking red (I think it was called Wildfire, hehe!). Watched the first 10 minutes of The Matrix with the girls before I went to bed around 10.

Sunday, 21st October 2001.
Was up around 4, went back to sleep and woke up periodically till 9. We went to church (I actually wore a skirt, ooh..) before heading to a video store to grab a movie for the night. Spent the afternoon raking leaves and traipsing about Heather's backyard (which is ? acres); either way, it's huge. We raked a huge pile of leaves and jumped in it like little kids, lol. Winnie (the Jacksons' golden retriever) had a ball playing with us ;). After that we carved our pumpkins (my very first!); Heather made a very Harry Potter-ish one, while Becca's was that of a ghost. I did the traditional evil face, but with 'chinese' eyes and fangs, lol. It was fun, although scooping the gook out was eew, an experience *grins* We roasted the pumpkin seeds, made pumpkin muffins and some kinda vegetable loaf which sounded disgusting to me, but according to the girls, was actually really good. Vegetables in bread, yuck *makes a face* Anyway, we watched the sniper movie we rented (can't recall the title), it was ok I guess.

We had a lazy morning, before Mrs Jackson suggested that we head out for a walk, since it was lovely out. It was great to get out and just keep walking, leaving much behind, before making a turn and re-tracing our steps, walking, thinking, remembering, talking. Many times over the weekend words came to mind which I'd love to pen down, but since I didn't have the chance to put pen to paper, they're lost thoughts for now. I got back to rez around 3 and have been catching up on missed calls and messages left since. So far I'm halfway through Canticle for Leibowitz; hope to get a bit more out of the way before I sleep. Had dinner with Heather and Kayla. Will be giving Kayla a pink streak at the back of her head tonight, haha. Will see how that goes. Received an e-mail from Tanay and Kristina respectively; they are both majorly pissed off, and I don't blame them one bit, as I feel the same about what's been going on. We're gonna sit and talk sometime. As for now, I'm out.

Song of the moment: Brian McKnight's 6, 8, 12
Current emotion: Pensive

Just remembered something funny...was at the Senior Common Room giving my talk, and I mentioned briefly that what I really liked about Canadian culture was the up-front and honest attitude I have seen around me. Someone pointed out that in actual fact, Asian and German people were a lot more frank than Canadians, and that Canadians "wore layers and pulled on a persona". Hrrm. My snappy retort was that it's either I've been conned for the last one and a half years, or I've been bloody lucky to meet all the good people :D Hehee. I just like believing in the best of a person, y'know? Maybe I'm just another sucker in the making *shrug*
I haven't submitted a stanza of the day for the longest time. All my little poetic bits have gone into deviations I've viewed. It's either that, or it got out of hand and became an entire poem instead of a snippet. Here's Wretched; it's kinda depressing, (gee, I couldn't tell by the title :P) *smacks self* Nothing more disturbing than seeing me be sarcastic to myself, lol. But yeah, back to Wretched, it was just a culmination of everything every day every hour of my life. Trying to be there, but knowing my mortality and human limitations. Am this close to a self-analyzed breakdown. Somebody help me. The little poem underneath is something I posted in my journal on deviantART while listening to Vertical Horizon's Miracle.

Stanza of the Day:
I'm searching for a miracle...
-
-
-
I'm alright now
I tell myself
Close my eyes
Dream away
Things will end
Soon, someday?
I'm alright now
Right as rain
But in my eyes
Linger pain.

Broken.
Shackled?
Torn.
Shattered.
No more.
-
-
-
I'm searching for a miracle...

Quote of the Day:
Don't mistake legibility for communication - David Carson

Song of the moment: Lenny Kravitz's Again
Current emotion: Thoughtful

Sleepy, so so sleepy. Roger and George came by at 4am, and made me call Security to open an office so they could turn in their assignment. The security officers were downtown though, so they made me call them again at around 5.45am. Headed to Julian Blackburn College with Roger in George's car (George had fallen asleep) and we handed it in. It was funny because the windshield was frosted over and Roger couldn't exactly see where he was going :P All I can say is thank God we made it to and back in one piece, bah. The sky was beautiful though; a clear crisp night dotted with stars and moonshine... ah, hear me ramble ;)
Received a note from Pascal this morning and am feeling very relieved, as I've been worried. Spoke to him on AIM for the longest time, lol. Just found out that his dog's name is Shadow too! Now how weird is that? Heather's taking me home with her tomorrow for the weekend (note to self: inform Peter Northrop that I will be away); I really need this time away, as I'm beginning to burn out, and it's only mid-October. Received an e-mail today which implied that the student dons weren't doing their job. @^!@#%&!! *sigh* I give up. Nothing is ever enough. Organize activities? Cut me some slack here; we're talking about a bunch of young adults, not pre-schoolers. And besides, as it is, our hands are tied because we have to wait for Cabinet to get their asses moving, so #@%!! get off the subject. Bah.>:(
Found out that one of the deviants liked my poem so much that he copied it and posted it on his site. Don't remember his nick tho' *sheepish grin* Thanks, whoever you are. There was an Interact session at the Senior Common Room this evening, and I was one of the speakers. Just chatted with the people about culture shock and related some anecdotes, hehee. It was fun :D Becca came by to talk, as did Deandra, who promptly fell asleep on my bed not too long after. They've both left, so I'm alone again.

Song of the moment: Rick Price's Heaven Knows
Current emotion: Sleepy

Joke of the Year!! (that's how much this joke makes me laugh :))

A new priest at his first mass was so nervous he could hardly speak. After mass he asked the monsignor how he had done. The monsignor replied, "When I am worried about getting nervous on the pulpit, I put a glass of vodka next to the water glass. If I start to get nervous, I take a sip." So next Sunday he took the monsignor's advice. At the beginning of the sermon, he got nervous and took a drink. He proceeded to talk up a storm and received a standing ovation at the end of the sermon.

Upon his return to his office after mass, he found the following note on the door:

1. Sip the vodka, don't gulp.
2. There are 10 commandments, not 12.
3. There are 12 disciples, not 10.
4. Jesus was consecrated, not constipated.
5. Jacob wagered his donkey, he did not bet his ass.
6. We do not refer to Jesus Christ as the late J.C.
7. The Father, Son, and Holy Ghost are not referred to as Big Daddy, Junior and Spooky.
8. David slew Goliath, he did not kick the shit out of him.
9. When David was hit by a rock and knocked off his donkey, don't say he was stoned off his ass.
10. We do not refer to the cross as the "Big T."
11. When Jesus broke the bread at the Last Supper he said, "Take this and eat it for it is my body." He did not say "Eat me"
12. The Virgin Mary is not called "Mary with the Cherry,"
13. The recommended grace before a meal is not: Rub-A-Dub-Dub thanks for the grub, yeah God.
14. Next Sunday there will be a taffy pulling contest at St.Peter's, not a peter pulling contest at St.Taffy's.

*roflmao*

Spoke to my mom for 5 minutes on the phone. I was *this* close to making it until I coughed, and she flew into the whole oh-my-god-how's-my-daughter-doing-are-you-taking-care-of-yourself routine. Moms *rolls eyes* Hehe. Dad wasn't in; seems that he hasn't been feeling all that well lately. Mom didn't take the news of me not coming home that well, but things will work out. The anthrax scare has everyone worried, and since I'm going to New Jersey/NYC, mom's doubly worried, but unnecessarily so, in my opinion. Look, if I'm gonna die, I'm gonna die anyway. If it's meant to happen, then so be it. I've already reached a stage where I don't have much to regret about, for I've tried to be and do all I can, to give the best I have in me, to everyone except myself, and even then it's a personal choice. So yeah. I may not have accomplished all I've ever wanted in life, but things are good so far, and I don't care too much if it ends now.So that's my two cents on the anthrax scare for you.
Roger just called; he wants me hand in his assignment for him (at almost 4am...hrm). *shrug* Crazy fella.

Song of the moment: Kavana's Will You Wait For Me
Current emotion: Death wish? Nah. Just realistic.

Babysat Emma from 8.30 till 2.30pm. Watched The Tigger Movie with her; I finally understand what's so appealing about Pooh and Co, hehe. Skipped my science fiction tutorial, drugged myself up and went to bed. People tried to break my door down even when the sign outside said specifically that I was "OUT". Sweet lord. First snowfall of the year. Yeah, can hardly believe it myself. It's only October and it's snowing already, lol. Madness. Was supposed to go out with Becca and Heather today because it's Becca's 19th birthday, but I'm too doped up on Panadol as it is. I figure alcohol and aspirin would not be such a good idea :P Gave Becca a Fuzzy Navel as a birthday present; she downed it like the 19 year old she was, heh.
Was talking to Kira, Terri and Mark. Word, Mark's finally hooked up with Em, so I'm really happy for him. Damn that guy's infatuated, lol. Ah well.

Quote of the Day:
I am the onliest! And I am the loneliest...- Tigger, The Tigger Movie

Song of the moment: Another Level's From the Heart
Current emotion: Drugged up and oblivious

Just a short annoucement to say my "About" page is up, and yes, there's a picture too :P

Song of the moment: Vertical Horizon's Best I Ever Had
Current emotion: Thoughtful

Was reading some poetry and came across sebby's which I had commented on before. I laughed.

I don't call you god of prose for nothin'
Your words tend to ring painfully true
But godammit sebby
Why do they have to make me blue?

Hehe. I'm a crazy fool I am.

Song of the moment: Vertical Horizon's Give You Back
Current emotion: Solemn

Still down and out with a bad cold and throat. Went for 205 as usual. Came back, took more pills and tried to sleep the headache away. Did some reading and worked on an essay outline for the rest of the day, ignoring the phone and the door. I'm to babysit Emma, so I'm hoping I'll be well enough then. Becca came by later, as did Roger. Poor Roger's feeling the stress; he spent a good 15 minutes talking to my teddy bear :P Good news of the day is that Kayla received a bursary from the goverment amounting to CD3000, yay Kayla :)
Read a lot of poetry, and wrote something else today. I'm on the verge of giving up, although I know I shouldn't. But helplessness...makes things very difficult.

Song of the moment: Vertical Horizon's Miracle
Current emotion: Unhappy

I feel just peachy, hehe. OK, I'm lying. I went for Theatre, but that's about it. Have to go see my profs tomorrow, yay me. Took some medication and passed out for most of the afternoon. The girls in Green section came by with a little thank you present (I helped clean their bathroom of the mess) so that was cool. Had a long talk with Heather about something important; it was a good conversation. I think that's what I like best about university: the conversations. You always learn something, sometimes inane, sometimes life-altering. Bugged Andreas while he was working, and we had a long chat about anything and everything. I'm supposed to check out this book by Donald Trumbo called Johnny Got His Gun. Interesting. May get the book sometime during Reading Break, although I have 5 books to catch up on then, yikes. Ah well. Tickets to the Incubus concert are gone, and that kinda sucks. There will be other concerts though.

Quote of the Day:
Kärt barn har många namn (Loved child bears many names) - Andreas Savhammar

Song of the moment: Incubus's Pardon Me (acoustic)
Current emotion: Listless

This makes me laugh every time I read it, lol.

Joke of the Day:

A Matter Of Punctuation
An English professor wrote the words, "Woman without her man is nothing" on the blackboard and directed his students to punctuate it correctly. The men wrote: "Woman, without her man, is nothing." The women wrote: "Woman! Without her, man is nothing."

*roflmao*

It's been such a long day. I feel much better compared to yesterday, as I can actually talk like a normal human now :) My computer's been dying on me for the past 2 nights, bah. Spent the day reading lots and lots of poetry and have finally finished Asimov's I, Robot. Had some food in OC with Kayla--we talked for almost an hour about stuff; it was good to catch up with her, since we haven't really talked ever since we got back. Dana came by a little later to tell me that one of the bathrooms down the hall was a digusting mess, because someone threw up all over the floor last night, eeww. Spent an hour cleaning it up with Dana and Jeff. Ugh, it was simply disgusting. I took a long hot shower after that; I just felt yucky.
It was Dessert Night at Bob and Pauline's, so I went around getting everyone to head down to the apartment. There were yummy jam cookies and some super chocolate ones too. Anyway, came back only to have Jess and Kira run in and out for the next 2 hours or so. Jeez, I think they had too much sugar or something :P Am working on my theatre essay which is due tomorrow morning. I am such a procrastinator, bleh. Chatted with Ricky and Mike and the rest of them in devart for a while; the server's finally speedy again, so we had a shoutbox party, lol. I updated my Me Shoutbox Pals poem, the latest shoutouts going to dragonmage, jsenn and princesnoopy. I can't get over how long that poem is now, lol. Alice called to let me know that she's bought the Broadway tickets already, woohoo! It costs USD100 each, but damn it'll be worth it. Will be watching Beauty and the Beast; I just can't wait *grins* Decided to cook chicken porridge on the spur of the moment. It's yummy :) Ah well, back to work for me!

Quote of the Day:
...to get men "in the mood", all women have to do is shop naked... - Kayla's pastor (Ed. note: I'm wondering what kinda church she goes to, lol)

Song of the moment: Blink 182's The Rock Show
Current emotion: Pressured

Yay, I had cake, yum. Watched Chasing Amy; it's really stupid overall, but the ending was...ok. Nothing earth shattering, although there were a couple of good lines here and there. Did my lock-up. Just noticed how eerie rez is at 1.20am with no one around. My fault for doing it so late I guess. Alice called and spent 20 minutes nagging me about everything and anything. Dammits, even being half a world away from home doesn't stop my family from their constant nagging, bah.

Quote of the Day:
And on the 8th day, God made beer - Chasing Amy

Song of the moment: Ruff Endz' If I Was The One
Current emotion: Agitated

I woke up feeling like someone had ripped my lungs out. There were so many people knocking on the door and calling on the phone, but I just ignored all of 'em. Jeff came by to talk, and he dragged me over to the other end of the building to see something. What was his description? Oh yeah, "death becomes her", or something to that effect. Had a long talk with Jess (well, she did most of the talking anyway; I could only croak). Spent some time writing before heading out for food with Sarah L at the LEC dining hall. Stole some pizza and stuff, hee. Finished composing my poem and stuck it onto devart; I call it Special. It's Oakville Boy aka Mark's birthday, so here's your shoutout Mark: Happy Birthday! *hug* I think I'll start on my essay now.

Song of the moment: Chage and Aska's You Are Free
Current emotion: somber

Had a couple of drinks, did my laundry and had a quick shower before catching to 10pm bus downtown with Di, Sarah L. and Asha. The bus was totally packed; squashed like sardines is an understatement :P Danced till 1am with the girls before I decided to leave, since I had to do lock up in rez. Left with YiMin and we bumped into TK and his friend on the way. Waited a good 45 minutes, and the bus didn't show up, so Abigail and I decided to head back to Copperfield's. Hang out and dance till 2.45 before we left. Just got back not too long ago; am bloody tired, and my feet hurt, ugh. Came back to have noise complaints, sigh. One of my girls threatened to leave residence. I'm too tired to think right now.

Song of the moment: Dr Dre feat. Eminem's Forget About Dre
Current emotion: Tired

Yay, new layout for my blog, courtesy of sooks *muah*

Woke up around 2 and spent the afternoon fixing my blog with sooks' help; we got the main blog up already, it's just the bits and pieces around which we have to work on. My throat feels awful, and Susan told me that I wasn't gonna spin tonight because of some new equipment. Asha was right about not getting hopes up, y'know. Yeah, am very disappointed, but I figure I'll go out and have fun with my friends anyway. :)
Had dinner with Kayla, Sarah L., Sarah H, Miranda, Anne, Therese, Harvey and Tracy in OC. It was fun. I bought some ice fruit pops for my throat.

Quote of the Day:
Get your ass movingla - Kayla (with funny accent)

Song of the moment: Matchbox 20's Mad Season
Current emotion: Disappointed, but realistic

Walla, it's 6.40am, teehee. Am still awake, and was talking to Sarah L. earlier, who was rather obviously drunk, lol. Read some fantastic poetry tonight, among them Andreas's Consumed and The Scream, which in turn inspired me to write Vanquished. Andreas said I deserved an 'Indian' name; he called me "Little-Smiling-Troll" (he once asked me what I was like, and I said I was a little troll), lol. He's funny :D I really ought to be in bed now...

Song of the moment: Savage Garden's Hold Me on repeat
Current emotion: Woozy, but very proud of new name, lol

Woah, am chatting with Ricky, sooks and Andreas online. It's already past 4, and I'm still up. Just had a fuzzy navel and a couple of glasses of juice; I need sleep.

Song of the moment: Blue Cantrell's Hit Em Up Style
Current emotion: Tired

Dunno what I've been doing for the whole evening. Had a sub for dinner in the dining hall, am almost done with Asimov's I, Robot. It's such a fantastic read. Priscilla borrowed my sleeping bag for the weekend. Hope I don't freeze in bed tonight; it's been mighty cold in rez lately, and my heater doesn't work. sooks is back online, yay! Am happy about that :)

Song of the moment: Incubus's Pardon Me
Current emotion: Wide awake but tired

Have done nothing productive so far besides walking to OC with Heather and wrestling Sunday on the way there. We had lunch in the Eaton College dining hall because the grill was closed at OC.
Received the most annoying news just now (specifically, it's about certain student dons' (i.e. me, Kris and Tanay) "lack of participation and getting work done"). At the moment, I am one bloody pissed off individual, and if that bitch even comes close to me, I swear to God I will (I quote Tanay) "take her down to Chinatown!" (whatever that does; it just makes me crack up when I hear it out loud :P). Sigh. *takes a deep breath*
OK. Let's look at things in perspective eh? I fulfill all parts of my contract, the dons and senior dons have no complaints, my girls are all between the ages of 16 to 22, thus I have no reason to babysit any of them. The only 16 year old I have with me is perfectly capable of taking care of herself, and I reiterate here that a student don is not here for babysitting: we are here to provide help and direction should such a need arise. My girls know where to find me, my door is always open, and I'm always available for them to talk to should they want to. Hell, even her kids come to me for the vacuum key, for God's sake. And I know firsthand that Kristina and Tanay are no different. they're both doing fantastic jobs with their section. We all have our lives too you know! As far as I'm concerned, almost everyone is pulling their weight around here.

Damn I love my blogboard. It allows me to vent and vent and vent, lol. Why am I still cheerful? Heck, look. I'm mad, I really am. But if I let it bug me more than it should, it makes my life miserable, and donning is not like that. I love donning. I love my girls, and I love most of the people I'm working with. I'm in the best college in the university, I have fantastic friends, I get to help people out, and school is good so far. I also have an (unpaid) job with an online mag which I'm really excited about, I'm gonna be partying tomorrow at Copperfields', and again, I have such fantastic people as friends and peers. Sure, I have stuff to think about, but who doesn't? My life isn't perfect, but you know what? Things would be boring if it were. I'm counting my blessings, and damn I'm lucky :)

I think the reason why I'm still happy is because of the song I'm listening to, hee. Damn, this should be my song. I love U2! Wish I could make it for the concert.. blah. If you're reading this, you probably know me, and hey, remember, you're special! *big hug* :)

I really should start thinking like this more often...

Link of the Day: Mythography: Exploring Greek, Roman and Celtic Mythology and Art

Song of the moment: U2's Elevation (Tomb Raider Remix) on repeat
Current emotion: Mad but happy, letting off steam, lol.

Went downstairs and Kayla persuaded me that God figured since I bought Kai and Marianne dinner I deserved the cash, lol. Jenn came by and gave the both of us more Godiva chocolates, oohh...! Heavenly *big grin* Kristina and Tanay come by and we bugged each other for a bit. Kris typed a letter to the university paper, it was funny, as she was so ticked off about their publications. Did my lock-up with her and am back in my room.
The girls in the hall are bitching about some sad spineless good-for-nothing sonofabitch who tried to pick up Courtney with a girlf on the side. Now that, my friend, makes him scum. No, hell, he gives scums a bad name! He's lower than scum! Haha. Men *throws hands in the air* And let's not go into my stand about relationships, lol. Bitter, oh so bitter...la la lil la la...

Song of the moment: Kai's Say You'll Stay
Current emotion: Cynical

Woah, was up at 8 today (can hardly believe it myself..!!). Babysat Emma today; if it's one thing I've learnt, it's that nothing hurts more than a little kid telling you honestly that they are uncomfortable and/or dislike you. Like, ouch. It took me 25 minutes to get her to TALK. And breakfast at the cafeteria? It was more stressful than sitting for finals, trust me :P But we got along fine halfway though (I guess if it was between me and a whole bunch of strangers, I was her favourite, haha!). I still love Emma to bits. I suppose it was difficult for her to understand why the heck I was with her instead of her mom, especially since she was so used to seeing me with her parents around. She's such a cutie though. I took her for a walk in her stroller, and she fell asleep, aww..
Science fiction was ok, and by 2.30pm I was done for the day. Priscilla came by and we chatted for over and hour before Susan showed up. Had dinner with her and Asha, chilled together for a while in the cafeteria. We couldn't get 2 Live Crew's Shake That Ass Bitch out of our heads, lol. It was bad :P Anyway, Andrew just came by and gave me some money for babysitting Emma. I feel kinda bad, especially since I'd told them before that I'd babysit for free. Am gonna talk to Kristina about it and see what happens. I figure if I don't give the money back, I'll just buy the kids something.

15 minutes later:
OK, forget about that. Just spoke to Kayla, and her exact words were "Tiff, this is Canada. We're money-grabbing people", lol. She's funny, she is :) This is totally weird. Like, I've never babysat people's kids and received money for it, y'know... am thinking of buying the kids stuff. Or returning the money. Like, I'd really love to keep the money, but yeah. I wanna return it. But I could really use the cash. But I feel awful...argh! My conscience is killing me :( Somebody shoot me..!! (or my bloody conscience anyway...)

Song of the moment: Incubus's Drive
Current emotion: Undecided (stupid conscience..!!)

Headed out to the Champlain Snack Bar with Roger to get some food. Mat said I had a "whinging voice", so I wanted to kick his butt (but I remembered what happened the last time we fought, so not a good idea..!). Anyway, we were complaining about the hours we had to spend in class, and I'll be damned if Mat doesn't have close to 50 hours a week, yikes. Gathoni was working tonight, and she told me the best news ever; she wants me to spin this Friday for the TACSU party, woohoo!! It's not the whole show, just maybe an hour or so, but I'm bloody excited all the same. Bought a cookie for myself and one for Mat, since he was so hardworking and all that :P Haha, Mat has posters of women in bathing suits (read:very miniscule bathing suits) up on his wall, rofl. He's funny :D

Song of the moment: Steven Curtis Chapman's Dive
Current emotion: Happily tired

Was working on my prep. and essays so I didn't sleep. How many times may I reiterate the fact that English 205 sucks ass?! lol. The good thing was that it ended early today. Slept for a few hours before wasting more time online surfing the 'net. Had dinner with Heather, Miranda and Becca. Man, I've been listening to Vertical Horizon's Everything You Want album on repeat for the past 20 hours, yikes. They rock my world! :) Oh, almost forgot to say, I get to babysit Emma tomorrow morning, yay! Am really happy about that, as I love Emma and Hannah to bits. They're just so cute *grins*
Bad news of the day is that Malaysian Airlines called; the cancelled my ticket, argh! They're no longer flying to/from Newark, NJ. So this kinda sucks.

Quote(s) of the Day:
Trampolines get us closer to God...catch me God, catch me! - eightball
*flashes key in tiff's face* Me and old men have something in common! - Kayla

Song of the moment: Vertical Horizon's Miracle
Current emotion: Lethargic

I forgot to say, I'm bloody broke, lol. We walked around campus for a bit before heading to The Old Stone downtown for dinner. The food was fantastic, as was the company. Chatted and joked and laughed so hard; it was good fun. I decided to pay for dinner, especially since Kai had to spend so much as it is getting to Canada. Kai drives like a maniac though :P We made the mistake of going the opposite way on a one way street, and the first thing which flashed though all our minds? "We're from Oklahoma!" (It was an Oklahoma license plate). Such a joke, lol. Thank god we got off scott-free! I love my friends so so much :)

Song of the moment: Ben Folds Five's Still Fighting It
Current emotion: Still sad, but remembering the good times

They're gone, and I'm sad. I miss Kai and Marianne... :(

Song of the moment: Coldplay's Shiver
Current emotion: Sad

I am 20 years old, female... oh wait a mintue.. shit, this is Tiffany's blog.. hehehehe...

ANYWAYS, Erm.. let me rephrase... I am happy to be up here in Peterborough and a great big thanks to Kai for driving me down here with him. Just because he was driving, it doesn't mean I didn't do anything, I fed him.. I played him a variety of music... See??? I contributed my share! hehehhe!
Well, its awesome meeting Tiffany again.. I love this girl.. shes so awesome.. and CUTE.. sigh.. she gave me peach schnapps..(thats why i really love her.. hehhe... nolah, joking!) and I entertained her with the Britney video! Which one? I'm a slave for you.. (theres this REALLY REALLY gross part in it.. you gotta watch carefully..) Her friends Kayla and Asha were basically shocked by the video... so was everyone.. except Kai who had a look of amusement/happiness... hahehhehehehe! His eyes nearly popped out! CLASSIC!

Anyways, time to head for food... adios!

Marianne

*Attention*

This is Kai hijacking Tiff's blog.

I would like to thank my trusty pair of wheels for getting Marianne and I all the way up here to Peterborough. The first thing I noticed driving onto the 115N on the way to Trent was the sense of absoute 'ulu-ness'... and I told myself (told Marianne actually : ) "We're in Bumblefuck, Canada...Wow."

It's a lot like Ithaca: trees, lakes, and hills...

Random rattlings:
1. Tiff has a way nicer room than I do...and I hv to pay shitloads to keep a single room at Cornell...Bah-Humbug!
2. Tiff exploits her being above the legal drinking age of nineteen...three bottles of Absolut on the shelves and more in the fridge.
3. Peach Schnapps is good shit... *hic!* ; )
4. Tiff is an RA to 57 female residents....Whoa : D
5. It's GrEaT being here, actually....... : )

Ciao!

Kai

Man, I now know not to blog in the middle of the night, because I say the darnadest things, and usually am at my emotional low at that time. Oh, and I tend swear more often too *sheepish grin* Ah well. Things don't look so bad in the light of day, but it still bugs me. It's 5.30, and bloody Kai and Marianne still aren't here yet, argh! I don't know if they're lost or what, but damn...
Was talking to Pascal earlier; U2's having a concert in Montréal this Friday, and I really really want to go, but tickets are sold out. Pascal was nice enough to say he'd accompany me if I went, but even if we could get tickets, it's bloody expensive so... argh! I want money :P Hehe. Thanks so much for offering though, Pascal *hugs* You still owe me pie..!

Quote of the Day:
Are you on the matrix?! - Tanay

Song of the moment: US3's Flip Fantasia
Current emotion: Wondering, wishing, hoping...

Complete frustration
My spirit broken
Can't take this pain
Though trying to stay sane.

Madness.
Irrationality.
Going crazy?
Maybe.

Why?
I've told you over and over
Don't do this to me.
Let me be.
Why can't you see?
I need to be free!

You keep holding me back
You keep holding on
It's not independence I lack
It's because of you I'm torn.

Let me go
Just let me go!

It's always the same;
My tears from you I hide
"Everything's fine"
But you know what?
I lied.

Let me go.
Just...let me go.

I don't know wtf is going on anymore. After convincing myself and my parents that it made more sense for me to stay in Canada than go home for Christmas, Lisa tells me that my parents want me home. Like, FUCK. Can't they understand that I'm trying so hard to be practical, to be strong?! I know personally how bloody hard my parents work; money does not fucking grow on fucking trees, and I'll be damned before I spend even more of their money. And besides, it's not as if I'll even get to see my parents once I'm back, what with Christmas and Hari Raya sales going on? They'll be too busy working. and don't tell me it'll be different, because I bloody well spent most of summer by myself anyway (besides the trip to Penang).
And wtf is it with all the guilt trips?! Do they think I fucking relish the thought of another Christmas spent away from my family? And Merv, what's this about telling my parents that it's not safe to be here in North America? Dude, it doesn't help to worry my parents! As if I'm not going through enough shit as it is, I have to deal with this. Like, what the fuck?! :(

Song of the moment: Nickleback's How You Remind Me
Current emotion: Bloody frustrated and upset

I cooked dinner today, ahaha. Cooked rice and steamed chicken n' eggs using my rice cooker, it was awesome! It's been ages since I ate good rice :P Heather and Miranda joined me for dinner *grin* Shahnon left around 5-ish (yes, he did stop by before he left :)) And Marianne and Kai are coming tomorrow, so I'm really psyched. Tanay came over later, he'd missed dinner, so he ordered a pizza. Jenn and Sunday came up and the 4 of us just hung out and chatted for a while. There's an Incubus concert in Toronto 2 weeks from now; am seriously considering heading down with Tanay, w00t! That would be sweet man, my first concert in Canada, lol. Jenn gave us lemon merangue pie and more Godiva chocolate *swoon* Sunday was laughing at me coz it took me ages to eat that little piece of choc, hmphff. I tell ya, chocolate (especially Godiva) is to be savoured man! :P Did lock-up; jeepers it's cold out tonight, brr..!

Anyway, am off to do some work (or at least try to...)

Link of the Day: The Really Big Button That Doesn't Do Anything *roflmao*

Song of the moment: Eve 6's Promise
Current emotion: Sugar high!

Audrey called this morning, gaah. I'm to call home tonight; something's happened, but I don't know what. I don't think it's bad news, but.. ah well.Had brunch with Heather and Miranda in OC--I've lost Shahnon. Hope he didn't leave without saying goodbye! Spent the afternoon cleaning my room and playing with my 'puter. Bloody thing took me 8 hours to de-frag a couple of days ago, ggrr..!! Am burning a CD, updating my blog, munching on yogurt covered peanuts and rearranging my CD collection (I seem to have lost quite a few CDs...). Yay for multi-tasking :) Am halfway through another book for my science fiction course and am re-reading Sophocles' Oedipus Rex and Antigone again for my theatre class.

Song of the moment: Chaka Demus's Murder She Wrote *bounces along to the beat*
Book(s) of the moment: Isaac Asimov's I, Robot, Sophocles' Oedipus Rex and Antigone
Current emotion: Hangin' by a moment...

Link of the Day: Find Your Wu Name!

Quote of the Day:
...stalks stalker's stalker... Can you get a circle of stalkers following each other round in a circle? - document23

Had dinner at Twilight! Man, Kristina wasn't kidding when she said the food was good. And it's true, the entertainment was even better! There was a 'close-up' magician, his name's Morgen, and omg, can that guy perform! He did several cool tricks, including changing a Canadian dollar into an American one; we were so impressed. Anyway, the food was great, but the bill was too, lol. Thanks Shahnon for the treat :)
Walked around downtown for 2 hours before heading back to campus. Shahnon ran off to join James at Champlain while I headed downstairs to see Heather and Asha. Poor Asha's down with the flu; I hope she gets well soon.Anyway, Jenn came by and gave me a piece of Godiva espresso chocolate, yum. And to top it off, Heather gave me peanut butter fudge! (I don't know what it is about girls feeding each other...).
I watched several MTVs on my 'puter before surfing at devART. Been listening to Vertical Horizon's Everything You Want album; man they kick ass *hums along...* There's something about their music which changes my mood...

Song of the moment: Vertical Horizon's All of You
Current emotion: Rather empty, drifting...

Was up at 10.30 (woohoo..!!) and had a quick shower before heading out with Shahnon. We walked around campus and met up with Asha and Tanay. Had lunch in OC before Shahnon went off with James to see the liftlock. I went out with Heather, Gurkche and Joyce to Landsdowne to do some grocery shopping. We spent a good 3 hours just walking around and buying stuff (I bought a huge bag of yogurt covered peanuts, yay!). Got back around 5-ish, and Heather and I wanted to cook dinner tonight, but Shahnon left a message saying he was taking us out to dinner. And sooooo, now I'm waiting for him to get back. In the meantime, I cleaned my room and am still admiring my fridge, lol. Oh yeah, and I'm playing my music real loud too *smirks*

Song of the moment: Smashmouth's All Star
Current emotion: *boing*boing*boing* :)

Nyahaha, Roger's so nice, he gave me a bar of Hershey's chocolate, lol (after I bugged and bugged and bugged and bugged him for it...). Yay Roger!

Madihah and Stephanie woke me up today asking for garbage bags :P Spent the afternoon online before hanging out with the girls downstairs. I have my fridge, yay! Filled it with juice *grin* I attended a meeting with the International Students' Association as they were trying to figure out whether to keep ADAT or no. Gave my 2 cents worth before heading downtown to pick Shahnon up. Met Malka at the Greyhound station, so we chatted while waiting for the bus (which was late) to come in. I was there from 6.30 till 8.30, and Shahnon still wasn't there, so I headed back to rez in the hopes that I missed him while I was at the grocery store, and that he was already with James. Anyway, it seems his bus came in really late, and he only reached Peterborough around 9-ish. Andrew called to ask if I was expecting someone, lol. Spent the evening chatting with him, James and Heather. Am off to visit Roger now before going to bed :P

Quote of the Day:
You put the cult in culture! - Malka

Song of the moment: Greenday's Warning
Current emotion: tired

I forgot to say; my parents called this morning and as usual, I felt like such a heel for not calling them more often. It's not that I don't want to call, it's just that, ever since I got back, time seems to fly by so quickly, and I don't even realize how many days have gone by before they call to see what I'm up to. I called them earlier, and spoke to dad and mom for ages. I really miss them, and I think it's finally hitting me how much the last year has changed me, how my summer back home has changed my parents' perception of me and vice versa. Mom is so different on the 'phone now; she has a lot more confidence in my decisions now, which is great. Daddy is daddy, although I think my not calling is affecting him more now than before (or he's not so good at hiding it anymore). I miss him so much, and as usual, talking or thinking of my dad just brings tears to my eyes. I suppose that considering I had never shed a single tear ever since I got back till now, I've been holding on pretty well. Ah well. Parents. :)

Had a meeting with a few members of the student cabinet, the other student dons and the floor reps recently elected. Threw around ideas for the year. Hannah was there, and she spent the whole hour sitting on my lap, lol. Everyone was joking how she was only 5, and her legs were already 3/4ths as long as mine were, rofl. What can I say? I'm vertically challenged :P She's such a cutie though *grin*
After the meeting, I headed to Bob and Pauline's for some Thanksgiving stuff they baked. omg, they make the best cranberry and almond squares ever! Anyway, there weren't that many people around, simply because everyone's gone for Thanksgiving weekend. Shahnon's coming down tomorrow though, so that's cool (he postponed the last time, but he's definately showing up tomorrow) and Kai's coming on Monday (wish he could make it Sunday, but nah he said he coulsn't make it). Tomorrow, rez is gonna be dead quiet. It'll be ok; I have friends around somewhere :) Took pictures with some of the girls, and watched the first 10 minutes of Rush Hour II with Di, Asha and Allison before heading out with George to go pick up my fridge (finally!!). Poor George was so nice, not only did he help me pick my fridge up from downtown, he carried it to my room on the third floor for me as well! I owe him big time. I'm so lucky to have such great friends! :)

Anyway, am off to bed, or at least the vincinity of it...

Song of the moment: Linkin Park's Runaway
Current emotion: Slightly homesick, but still happy

Roger and George came by this morning at 4.30 to borrow a stapler! At 4.30 in the morning they ask me for a stapler!! Those guys are nuts *shakes head* Sheesh. Anyway, was supposed to go downtown to buy some stuff for baking, but I slept in instead, yay me :) I'll probably be making a batch of brownies tonight or something. I wrote something last night, it's called Autumn Day. It's been quite a while since I submitted anything to devart, but I just wanted to write something to remind everyone how special they are. Anyway, enough ranting; I'm off to get some food in me *grin*

Song of the moment: Usher's U Remind Me
Current emotion: Woozy

This cracks me up, lol. Courtesy of Shean Min :)
Joke of the Day:

A little rabbit is happily running through the forest when he stumbles upon a giraffe rolling a joint. The rabbit looks at her and says, "Giraffe my friend, why do you do this? Come with me running through the forest, you'll see, you'll feel so much better!" The giraffe looks at him, looks at the joint, tosses it and goes off running with the rabbit. Then they come across an elephant doing coke, so the rabbit again says, "Elephant my friend, why do you do this? Think about your health. Come running with us through the pretty forest, you'll see, you'll feel so good!" The elephant looks at them, looks at his razor, mirror and all, then tosses them and starts running with the rabbit and giraffe.
The three animals then come across a lion about to shoot up... "Lion my friend, why do you do this? Think about your health! Come running with us through the sunny forest, you will feel so good!" The lion looks at him, puts down his needle and starts to beat the shit out of the little rabbit. As the giraffe and elephant watch in horror, they look at him and ask,"Lion, why did you do this? He was merely trying to help us all!" The lion answers, "That little fucker makes me run around the forest like an idiot for hours every time he's on ecstasy!"

Ah, went to the counselling centre this morning with one of my girls. Finished reading Mary Shelley's Frankenstein and H.G. Wells' Time Machine in time for my science fiction course. Spoke to Peter Northrop and found out that Helena's fine and is going home for Thanksgiving weekend. Am very relieved. Still don't feel like writing much. Had a nap in the afternoon before my tutorial session, and I'm done for the day, yay :)

Song of the moment: Vertical Horizon's Best I Ever Had (on repeat *grin*)
Current emotion: Mellow

Was up till late working on my english paper. Spent some time talking to Mark, Kristina and Roger. Didn't go for English 205 today. Went for my classics tutorial. There was supposed to be a meeting, but I think it's cancelled. I'm tired. Asha bought me a bag of brownies; it was really nice of her. She's in love, lol. I'm gonna go get some work done now.

Song of the moment: Cayuga Waiters' cover (in accapella) of Edwin McCain's I'll Be
Current emotion: Worried and unsure

It's been a bad, bad day. I slept for a grand total of 45 minutes before spending the day at Traill College as usual. I think I screwed up on my presentation, blah. Got back to campus at 6 only to be faced with some serious problems in rez. Finally have dinner at 10 (was hiding out in Di's room) before crashing for an hour (was interrupted several times by the phone and people coming in). I have prep. to do. I'm asking myself if this whole thing is worth it or not. I'm trying to give my best and my all, but sometimes I wonder if that's enough. Maybe I'm just not cut out for the job, y'know.

Song of the moment: Blessid Union of Souls' Let Me Be The One
Current emotion: Unsure

5.25am and I'm still awake. ARGH..!!!

Haha, ugly webcam pic, but check out the hair! (It's fading already; gotta get me back to NYC...)

You do not want to know what time I got up today :P Best news of the day is that Kai's coming to visit at the end of the week, yay! Am so excited; can't wait to beat him, haha! I'm kidding :) Spent the day (or what's left of it) with Susan and Asha; we had a nice long chat about a little bit of everything, and it was a good evening. Headed to Otanabee College with Kayla and Asha for dinner, had yucky shrimp terriyaki rice, blek. Tried studying and failed miserably. Cooked food for Roger coz he was hungry, and in return he gave me a Head of the Trent beer mug his buddy left behind (it's really cool, but I didn't have the money to buy it) so yay! :) There was a short meeting for the RAs and the Cultural Affairs rep. from the student cabinet which went fine. Kira's back from visiting her boyf at the Royal Military College; it's good to see her. Am trying to prepare for my presentation for tomorrow, but achieving zilch at the moment. Spoke to Kai on the phone; he's probably coming up on Sunday evening or Monday morning. Oh, and almost forgot, Shahnon might be coming up this weekend too. I'm happy, I really am :)

Quote of the Day:
Explore your mind until all limits have been reached. Even then, keep looking and you'll amaze your eyes and your heart - Faye Velsher

Song of the moment: Dave Matthew's Band's Satellite(Acoustic)
Current emotion: Content