November 28, 2023
In hands we hold.

Shattered soul
in hands we hold
and try
to fix and put together
in hopes
that you'll get by;
healed,
with cheer
and peace of mind.
Maybe someday
it'll happen:
something fine,
and the tears
won't matter,
'cause all is better,
leaving pain
but a distant memory.

Posted by Tiff at 06:09 AM
Bed of roses

Left the house for the first time in almost a week for our weekly dinner at Champs. It's so good to sit down and have a meal with the girls at least once a week. It makes me think that we care enough to keep in touch, no matter how busy we are. Bonus of the week: Kris joined us too, yay! :)

"...'cause that bottle of vodka's still lodged in my head..."

...and I hate this feeling of a constant rush of throughts and jumbled understanding while trying to write a freaking paper, ARGH. Confuzzled and befuddled by the myriad of flashing images in the mind.

Am so, so frustrated right now.

I've always appreciated my friendships. Each and every one of them. So when one flushes down the drain, for whatever the reason it may be, it hurts.
Ah well. It's part of life and learning. I gotta start writing off these people for my own good anyway. I just wish it were as easy to do as it is easy to say. :/

Damn you for making it so hard.

I have to remind myself that some birds aren't meant to be caged. Their feathers are just too bright and when they fly away, the part of you that knows it was a sin to lock them up does rejoice, but still, the place you live in is that much more drab and empty that they're gone. I guess I just miss my friend. - The Shawshank Redemption

I want to watch this movie so badly.

*breathe*
*relax*
*hope...*

Wearing pigtails and hiding dreams under my bandanna.

"When I die, I want to be buried face down, so that those who don't like me can KISS MY ASS!" - Red, That 70's Show

ahahah!

Currently listening to: Vertical Horizon's Heart in Hand
Current emotion: resigned
Random observation: Di, S & L make me laugh, heh. Funny, funny people *hug*

Posted by Tiff at 04:26 AM
November 27, 2023
Fuzzy blue slippers

Sarah's been nagging me to throw out my old and worn fuzzy blue slippers ever since I bought my new pair several weeks ago. It's ripped, the soles are worn out (I duct-taped them, haha!) and they're as flat as a pancake from constant wear.
She's right, I should throw them away. I have a nice new pair which I've barely used, but I just can't bring myself to get rid of the old ones. I remember when I first bought them last year, I thought they were such a fantastic find! Whenever I was feeling down (which was often), I'd put them on, wriggle my toes and smile. They'd cheered me up so often last year, and I remember running around rez, tripping up and down the stairs, or freezing my ass off running from the South wing to the North in them. Sarah stole them for a whole weekend once, and I missed them. I'd troop downstairs ever so often to Kayla's and Di's in them, threatened to beat numerous people with 'em (or at least throw it in their direction)...
My fuzzy blue slippers. They're just so damn comfy, and comforting.

I guess I'm just stupidly sentimental.

Maybe I'll throw them tomorrow.

Currently listening to: Toni Braxton's You Mean The World To Me
Current emotion: silly
Random observation: Just spilt hot wax and burnt myself, ouch.

Posted by Tiff at 01:10 AM
November 26, 2023
Sleepless night

I pulled my first all-nighter of the year, ugh. Crashed around 11am, and woke up 4-ish. Dazed and confused, I'm still trying to pull myself together and get whatever stuff I have to do done.
DJ and Di stopped by today, so we yakked for a bit. She picked up some Vegetable Thins for my sleepless nights, yay Di ;D I am lacking in the junk food department, bah. Multi-grain veggie crackers, mm.

Have to focus :/

Ooh, Pringles on sale. Hmm. Maybe I'll make chicken veggie soup later this week. Maybe.

*yawns*

Currently listening to: Trick Daddy's I'm A Thug
Current emotion: blur
Random observation: To nap or not to nap, that is the question.

Posted by Tiff at 12:50 AM
November 25, 2023
...and I write.

I write, not for fame, nor fortune. Not for posterity, even though it's nice to be able to look back upon something concrete every once a while.
I write, not for recognition, or praise, or faith. Not for others, as lovely it is to be able to extend a hand to one's fellow in humanity; to touch a soul and warm someone's heart, to hurt and lash like a whip against a raw back, to carry someone else through trials and tribulations.
I write, quite simply, for narcissistic reasons. Because I forget so easily, because words slip like water through a sieve, holding nothing, changing nothing, but knowing that it was there, once, an hour, a minute, a second ago, but now gone. Even so, it was there, once, and when I write, I hold onto this everlasting minute and second that doesn't leave my being, and for that one split moment, I feel whole, I am whole.
I write, because I don't want to write what I have to, what people say is "important", like my essays and assignments for school. I ramble nothingness into being to take my mind and conscience off what I truly am supposed to be writing about, nothing else. Guilt consumes in fiery bliss, and yet I still write that which makes no sense.
I write, because there will be a day when I will write no more, and there's so much I want to say and sometimes, a conversation is nothing compared to letters affixed to one another, a stream of conscious/unconscious thought that draws the soul and paints it with colours of the sky and earth, twining, intertwining into neverending understanding. Souls. Dreams. That which makes the spirit whole, that which warms the cold.

...and so, I write.

Until the day I will write no more.

Posted by Tiff at 07:12 AM
This one's for Kayla

First thing's first: I finally killed my 'puter by downloading too many episodes of Friends and mp3s, which led to my 'puter freezing numerous times on me. I lost my last entry, argh! Just spent the last hour cleaning up files and stuff, burning the crazy photos and videos we made last year onto a CD. University days, heh. It'll be amusing to dig that CD out 5 years from now, lol.

Am currently very excited, as I just discovered a track of Vertical Horizon performing a cover of Tracy Chapman's Fast Car *dances around* I love Vertical Horizon :) There's also a remix of Everything You Want by Crystal Method, which is disturbingly well done. It's the kinda track that grows on you, I think.

As you can see, I'm procrastinating; 6 papers to write, and I don't know where to start. Oh, and as for the title to the entry, it was just for kicks. It usually takes me forever to figure one out ('cause I'm anal that way), and Kayla wanted to see her name here somewhere, so there ya go.

Crazy weekend just past. Spent a lot of time vegging in front of the telly with Sarah and Kayla, which is something we don't do often enough, I think. Hannah was, quite literally, a whiny brat this weekend, and our opinion has nosedived tremendously. It's our TV and our house, with rent and cable paid by us, so I think it's quite fair that we get to watch TV whenever we want, without the guilt trips, whining and fake tears, thanks very much. Seeing as you're just a guest, I believe you have absolutely no say in what happens here. And if you think you do, my temper has quite a different opinion entirely.

Onto happier news before I flip. sooks might be coming back with me in January, yay! Ugh, which reminds me, I may be stranded indefinitely in Hong Kong on my way back, if things don't get resolved quickly. Damnit, I'll swim back if I have to :P

Currently listening to: Prince vs Fatboy Slim's When Doves Cry
Current emotion: .
Random observation: We ordered pizza today!

Posted by Tiff at 01:25 AM
November 23, 2023
Pissed little cookie monster

I bloody hate Malaysia Airlines. Spent the longest time on the 'phone today, veering between Air Canada and MAS in my attempt to sort things out. Was pissed beyond belief, and I still am, actually. Goddamn people and their lousy unreliable computer systems, hmph. To make the long story short, I will be stuck in Hong Kong for an indefinite amount of time because all the flights to KL are full. @$!! :(

Kayla went out with Jenn to catch the latest Bond movie, while Sarah headed to the Vibe with Di for TACSU Night. I opted to stay home, seeing as I was still reeling from my credit card bill, and watched Ocean's Eleven while fixing my favourite necklace.
Didn't make it to class for the second week in a row, ugh. Am so pissed at myself. Yes, today is not a good day. :/
Audrey has a couple of things she wants me to bring back, including my 'puter. She's thinking I should trade the desktop for her notebook, hrm. I don't know.

Ah, screw this, screw the world. I'm going to try and get some sleep.

Currently listening to: Patti Smith & Don Henley's Sometimes Love Just Ain't Enough
Current emotion: pissed
Random observation: sometimes I just want to kick someone or something.

Posted by Tiff at 02:30 AM
November 21, 2023
Perpetual blah

My brain's like a sieve right now; retaining nothing, even as I force myself to try and think and remember and speak and write with reason and meaning.

What the hell am I saying? There is no meaning.

Had dinner last night with the girls it what seems to be routine of sorts now: cheap wings at Champs, yay! Di skipped class to join us, and Kayla and Long showed up too, so it was a nice get-together. I have shrimp in the freezer thanks to Long, and will probably cook it over the weekend or something.

Tutorial with Sean Kane today; this man rocks. I love his class, and I can't believe it's almost over :/ My classmates in the tutorial section probably have a lot to do with it too; they're just such decent people, and with narrative one can't help but learn a little more about the people who share stories of experience and living. I'm thinking of taking a class in Oral Scriptures with him next year. Maybe veer off slightly with my teaching plans; perhaps do some storytelling on the side? Writing, storytelling, teaching. It'll wreck my beautifully planned academic year ahead, but what the hell, it'll be worth it. Or at least I hope it will.

Radio show as par usual; I'm considering pulling out after this term, but I'm still contemplating. So unsure, so... blah.

Credit card bill came in the mail today. Yes, it is a bitch.

For the sake of sanity, I really don't want to care anymore. Nine more years, just nine more years.

Wipe the debt, and then wipe the slate clean.

I owe you nothing.

Currently listening to: Sister Hazel's Champagne High
Current emotion: .
Random observation: psychoticneuroticfantasticerratic.

Posted by Tiff at 10:26 PM
November 20, 2023
"It's 3am I must be lonely..."

What a mess. Literally and figuratively speaking, what a big bloody mess.

As I sit here staring at the screen, staring at the wall, at the keyboard, around my room, I can't for the life of me think of a single noteworthy event to speak of. My room's an unholy mess, what with me taking a good 15 minutes to hunt down my goggles which I didn't use soon after, and in the process, throwing everything out of whack.

I hurt. Physically, that is. Emotionally, I'm all over the freaking place, but that's normal. Nobody ever said that I was stable ;D

I baked banana walnut bread, if anyone cares. That's right, my next to final baking project before I devote myself to school and exams. After that, I'll be carting my ass back to Malaysia for a month. Warm, beautiful, sunny polluted Malaysia, where the people amuse and frighten me at the same time.

Culture is a double-edged sword, and you'll cut yourself either way, so hurt first and question later.

Samuel Beckett is a man after my own heart. We are nothing, searching for anything, just trying to find meaning in something. Waiting for Godot. Just keep waiting. But remember, if he ever does show up, you're going to wind up disappointed anyway.

It's a chess game, near the endgame. Check. e4. f5. Check. Kd4. Qd5. Checkmate.

"You said it didn't hurt to guess! You lied! It does hurt!"
"Yes, yes I lied. Teachers have no sense of honour, HA HA!"

There is no black and/or white. Everything lives and exists in shades of grey. We look at the greyness, and it consumes us whole. End here, end now.

Currently listening to: Crash Test Dummies' Mmm Mmm Mmm Mmm
Current emotion: confuzzled
Random observation: it's a madness that possesses the being, still trying to find meaning.

Posted by Tiff at 02:57 AM
November 18, 2023
Lucky me

I've made a conscious decision to try (key word here is try) and spend more time at the library instead of at home, seeing as comfort seems the bring forth the lazy in me. Not to mention the kitchen, which will forever be my main procrastinating tool, whether it be cleaning, cooking and/or baking.

It snowed all day yesterday, about 15cm, but had melted by this evening, hence my near-death experience while walking to school. Stupid puddles of ice. !@#%$!! Almost slipped twice today, first when I had to chase the stupid postman for delivering stuff to the wrong house (Emily saw me running after him and thought it was real funny, and some other guy opened his window and yelled words of encouragement!?), and next while I was trekking to school. I love winter and snow, but slush and ice I can do without, thankie :P

sooks has decided to take her site down, I think, and if that happens, this will probably go down along with it. I don't mind though; as sooks said, it was fun while it lasted :) I'll keep writing, but where I don't know. Maybe a real journal this time, where I use a pen instead of the keyboard. Or something. This is my 800th post, and I remember sooks telling me back in summer, that for a bunch of .txt files, I sure as hell write a lot, lol.

Thank you sooks, for hosting me and my ramblings for so bloody long. Much appreciated, and I'm there for ya still, you know that.

...and it's just another sign of thankfulness when friends leave words that touch the heart and warm the soul on a cold winter's day, as each letter forms and creates a permeating warmth that one feels with the mind; crystal-clear words that shimmer and reflect emotion in motion, a rainbow of coloured wisps of clouds, ever gentle, ever loving, ever there...

Currently listening to: Valeria Andrews & Ryan Toby's Pay Attention
Current emotion: .
Random observation: My feet don't touch the floor when I'm on certain gym equipment ;D

Posted by Tiff at 05:33 PM
November 17, 2023
Daddy's birthday

Yikes, I can't believe I'd forgotten dad's birthday; good thing my sister called to remind me. Happy Birthday Daddy! Wish I could be there to celebrate with you, but I know I can't, so I'll take you out for dinner when I get back, yah? ;D

So we didn't get completely sloshed last night after all. See, we did drink a lot, but with all the food we'd consumed beforehand, the alcohol barely hit us. That whole freaking mickey of Smirnoff for nothing, hmph.
It was a good evening though, and after everyone had gone home and/or to bed, I stayed up and watched Aladdin before hitting the sack around 4-ish am.
Was up around 11, and after lunch, Kayla and Chris took me around to get some errands done. Picked up Merv's Utada Hikaru DVDs from the post office, and I bought a new coat, yay me! It's brown and has a hood, and the best part? It's for kids, ahiaks! 40% off too, score!
Was at Jeff's for a while this evening, 'cause he had a pot-luck dinner party. Till today, I still have doubts handling myself in social situations with strangers, so I took off not too long after. Didn't want to go, but Kris insisted, and it was great seeing Jeff again anyway. Came home and baked chocolate chip cookies for Bryan, 'cause I promised him a batch the last time he was around.
Finally yakking with Eugene, whom I haven't seen since... 1999? Holy... it really has been that long. My crazy uncawireduhehe ;D Hung out with him, unca Azuan and Andrew quite a bit back then. Good times.

Currently listening to: Incubus's Are You In
Current emotion: .
Random observation: Just, tired.

Posted by Tiff at 01:24 AM
November 15, 2023
Just before...

I thought I should write just before I get plastered. Or something.

Punky, Di, Chris and Eren are here. We've eaten, and it's onto dessert and booze now. Actually, we've already started boozing. But nevermind.
Nothing much, with the exception of sleeping in, grocery shopping and freezing our asses off while walking around downtown Peterborough.

I need to forget, even if for just a little while.

Currently listening to: Tal Bachman's She's So High
Current emotion: .
Random observation: Just hanging out with the people I love.

Posted by Tiff at 10:28 PM
I Hate

Dear Blog,

it's almost 3.30am, and I'm still awake. What else is new? I'm still procrastinating, still thinking, trying to stop feeling.
The silliest, funniest and craziest thing happened. I baked Punky her favourite cake to cheer her up, but couldn't make it downtown 'cause DJ had fallen asleep. So I called to let her know of my "brilliant" plan (which she had no clue whatsoever), and to apologize, and then I just started crying. Because I let her down, and I hate letting people down. The irony is that she didn't even know, and wasn't even expecting me, lol.
I cried. Dear lord, I cried. I hate hate hate letting people down, and I feel like I let someone down tonight. It's as if I'm constantly letting people down, never, if ever, living up to expectations.

I hate me.

Self-loathing,
wallowing
in pain skin-deep
in pores permeate
like a dark warm blanket
that covers the soul
and drags it under
tearing it asunder
deeper and deeper
through a private hell.

You don't know me.

Posted by Tiff at 03:32 AM
Happy 21st Kayla!

That's right, it's that crazy blonde six foot housemate of mine that lives down the hall's birthday, so RAH for Kayla! ;D
I was up till past 3am fixing her door and her gift for her, so I slept right through class this morning, eek! According to her, it was worth it though, lol.
Nothing much today, except bumming and procrastinating. As of this moment, I'm still putting off writing not one, but two of my papers due at 9am. Have to make an emergency visit to a friend's place, but I plan to pull and all-nighter anyways, so it's no big deal.

I will make it!

Didn't do much with Kayla today, as her cousins took her out for dinner. We're celebrating tomorrow though, just the girls, lots of good dessert and of course, the alcohol. Sarah and Punky insist on drinking games, and I plan to put my brand new cocktail mixer to good use. In the event that we follow through this time, we'll be happy-ass plastered before tomorrow night is over ;D

*crosses fingers*

Currently listening to: Uncle Sam's When I See You Smile
Current emotion: .
Random observation: Damnit, why is it always that something major happens the night before my papers are due?

Posted by Tiff at 12:02 AM
November 13, 2023
Busy

Second night in a row that I didn't sleep till almost 4am. Am slowly but surely reverting back to my insomniac habits, and I don't like it one bit.

Interesting day at class; I didn't read the book, but watching my classmates bitch out at one another arguing about gender issues was rather amusing. Charlotte Perkins Gilman's Herland has it that in an isolated island far away, only women live on there, and all is peaceful with the lack of men in their midst, hence a utopia of sorts, but it was destroyed when testosterone made an appearance (or something like that). In other words, men are the root of all evil. Ahahahaha!
Gary, one of the guys who made his presentation, commented petulantly, "It's unfair!". When he said that, I almost choked myself laughing.

Met up with Punky and Sarah at Champs for cheap wings' night. We pigged out while catching up on life and living. Sarah was rather disturbed that I was talking and muttering to myself this afternoon. Yes, Sarah, we're all going straight to hell! ;D
Walked to Punky's after, where we chilled for a bit before taking off for home. Feeling guilty about all the food we consumed, Sarah and I decided to walk instead of catching the bus. That's right, we traipsed for a good 45 minutes in the cold, all the way from Peter Robinson College to University Heights, lol.

We're just crazy that way.

Everyone's bored and mostly confused
Pyrotechnic thought is vaguely diffused
Broken fragmented understanding we receive
Through lack of comprehension, this crappy stanza conceived.

Currently listening to: Live's Lightning Crashes (acoustic)
Current emotion: unwinding
Random observation: Take me away.

Posted by Tiff at 11:01 PM
Fires of hell

Was sitting in front of the 'puter, still half-asleep and feeling hungry, when Sarah came in and handed me the 'phone. All I could make out was a garbled "Osama...in Canada! Where the hell have you been?! Are you living under a rock?! Everyone's talking about it!". My initial reaction was "wtf?!" before keying in CNN.com to find out what was happening. Nope, Osama ain't in Canada. Nope, nothing bombed just yet.
So there's a tape that's been found. Everyone's talking about it. Went downstairs to watch the news, and all I can think about now is,
a) wtf is wrong with everybody
b) we're all going straight to hell
c) whoever wants to bring kids into this kinda world should think twice
d) G.W. Bush is just pissing me off. Bloody hypocrite.

Karma. Tit for tat.

Life's a bitch and then you die.

Currently listening to: Run DMC vs Jason Nevins' It's Like That
Current emotion: disconnected
Random observation: "...disillusion is the word..."

Posted by Tiff at 12:59 PM
November 12, 2023
Keep walkin'

I feel like I barely have time for a breather now, running around trying to get everything done.
The hell weeks have begun.
Had to head downtown to Prof. Eathorne's place for class today, and I walked for a good 45 minutes along and around Stewart Street trying to find this elusive little grey house of his. Luckily, I knew for a fact I wasn't familiar with the area and I have a lousy sense of direction, hence my leaving an hour earlier to find it. First things first, it's dark out, so I really can't see the colour! And bloody hell, he just HAD to live on one of the longest streets in Peterborough! Walked in circles, uphill and downhill, cutting through Traill College and back down again. I'd almost given up until I finally stumbled upon this tiny place hidden away, looking like nothing I'd pictured in my befuddled and fuzzy brain. Mind you, it's dark by 5pm now, so at the back of my mind was the niggling doubt that if I'm not careful, I'd be mugged on my way to class. Yes, a perfect way to end the evening, don't ya think? Pfft. Having an overactive imagination did NOT help, I assure you.
Lucky me, I found the place with 5 minutes to spare, and 1 1/2 hours later I was on my way back to campus.

I love my bandanna. It makes me feel productive. Or something. I think I'll go buy another one.

*hugs cocktail shaker*

;D

Currently listening to: Eve's Who's That Girl
Current emotion: .
Random observation: Never a dull moment.

Posted by Tiff at 11:33 PM
Cocktails here I come!

Damn straight; just got back from the pool, and my cocktail shaker has arrived, woohoo!! *does a little dance*

I've been wanting one for the past three years, and finally, I own it, HAH!

MOVE BITCH, GET OUT THE WAY! ;D

Posted by Tiff at 11:58 AM
November 11, 2023
King Bob the II?

Kayla just spent the last 45 minutes re-telling the history of "Malaysia" to me. King Bob the II, his wife Georgette, Bobina (wtf?) the daughter, Robert the son, the dog, cat, Schimatzu the Iguana that eventually killed King Bob II... they are all part of the conspiracy that makes "Malaysia" a country. Actually, she doesn't even believe that "Malaysia" exists (yes, she insists that I use quotation marks). According to her, I and the rest of my family are mer-people, and that I got sick of living in the ocean (where I got electrocuted every time I tried to use the internet, says Sarah) and moved to dry land, also known as Canada.

*shakes head*

My housemates. Oh so amusing. Always there to make life just a little more interesting, every day.

Anyway, damn Capters and their crap-ass service. The books I ordered since the 24th of October are still not here, and I've pretty much almost given up on calling for any kind of help whatsoever. Stupid Chapters. !@#$%!!
Spent a good hour on the phone talking to the bloody Chapters reps and those from Travelcuts, trying to price a ticket for Eren so that he can fly to Amsterdam for Christmas. Why couldn't he call them himself I really don't know, but I did it for the little Turkish brat anyway :)

Rearranged my room, and I like it much, much better now. I feel like I have a proper seperation between the work and sleep area, and the room looks so much bigger and neater. Maybe I'll take a picture sometime; still haven't done that.

Currently listening to: Surface's The First Time
Current emotion: .
Random observation: Just a little more bitter, and a little more cynical.

Posted by Tiff at 11:18 PM
November 09, 2023
Dinner party

It's been a great day. Started off rather rocky, seeing as I was still seething from the last two days or so. Spending a couple of hours with Kayla and Chris totally calmed me down though, and after we'd left the house and went shopping, I'd cheered up considerably. Perhaps the fact that Kayla said I'd frightened our housemate off made me smile, hah!
Yes, I'm evil that way ;D

Started cooking around 4, what with all the preparation that needed to be done and everything. Long came 6-ish, and we cooked till almost 9, gutting squid (yuck!), cleaning shrimp, mixing concoctions and the works. Kayla made the absolute dessert of the day: a streusel that melted in the mouth and tasted heavenly. Mm. Good thing there's still leftovers for tomorrow! Punky made a yummilicious marble cake with chocolate icing, too. Yep, two desserts, and at least six different dishes ranging from chicken to squid to pork to shrimp, ahh. The best dinner, ever.
We started boozing after, and Long had some white wine out of a bowl (?!). We finished a bottle of Arbor Mist between us, had some of Kayla's rasberry vodka, and Chris did a fantastic job wiping out his Crown Royale and 3/4ths of his 1.5 litre bottle of white wine. Di and Julia had passed out soon after all the food was finished, and Dru and Punky didn't drink, being happy with just observing us chug (?) wine and vodka. Yes, I lost to Long twice, but it was a close call anyhow.
Of all the dinner parties we've thrown, this ranks right up there as the most fun and relaxing for me. I'd finished two major presentations, I had time on my hands, and all my favourite people were under one roof. Who could ask for more?
The only downside was that Sarah wasn't around to join us :/

I'm tired, and sleepy.

Currently listening to: Stanford Silhouttes' cover of Boyz II Men's Thank You
Current emotion: .
Random observation: That's right, FEAR ME! ;D

Posted by Tiff at 11:47 PM
Katrien

Happier news one forgets in a moment of anger and frustration with life.

Katrien recently had a facelift. Show some <3!!

Damn straight ;D

Posted by Tiff at 12:42 AM
Temper

Considering how stressful last year was in comparison, today was simply a walk in the park when it came to frustration and exhaustion. Even so, I'm feeling cranky, tired and bitchy, and I want to hit something (or someone).
Kayla, Punky and Di have been godsend the last few hours, helping me take my mind off things by making crazy ass videos ("What should we call our band? Well, they have Atomic Kittens, so we'll be Nuclear Puppies!") and baking chocolate chip cookies. Chris showed up for his usual weekend visit, and I cooked some IndoMee for him and the others.

I admit, I have a disgustingly bad temper. I get an evil glint in my eye, slam things and swear like there's no tomorrow. If I could, I'd break stuff, but thank goodness I usually have enough sense to just slam my door shut, turn the stereo up and let off a little steam.
It just pisses me off that people take kindness for granted and act like it's something owed to them. For fucks' sake, grow up. Nobody owes you anything.

It's been a rough week. Here's hoping the next will improve.

Currently listening to: Ludacris's Move Bitch with the volume turned all the way up.
Current emotion: .
Random observation: The week is over, and the girls are getting wasted tomorrow.
Random funny moment: "...it was you, me and Julie!" "Who's Yumi?"

Posted by Tiff at 12:11 AM
November 07, 2023
Reality bites.

Just when you thought everything was fine and dandy, reality bites you in the ass and gives you a helluva wake-up call.

Nothing is certain in this world.

Here's a question. Where do you draw the line between being nice, and being taken advantage of?

It's been a lousy day, and I'm so stressed and tense I could beat someone and still get no relief. Running around all freakin' day, only to come home to find that my "brilliant" housemate had left the stove on max and took off, AGAIN. I swear, if it were a gas stove, we'd be homeless by now.

Is it too much to ask for some kind of brain functionality here?!

Good news (the only good news) of the day is that I got my storytelling assignment out of the way. I have another one coming up in a couple of weeks though. Radio show was an impromptu one, filled with errors and crazy/silly/stupid chatterings the tired brain produced. I finished 15 minutes early and just played some music.

I am so not in a right frame of mind now.

Just grit your teeth and smile and say that everything's fine and hide in your room and cry and think and cry some more and hold tight to dreams no matter how much it hurts.

Currently listening to: Vertical Horizon's All of You
Current emotion: tense
Random observation: Bloodyfuckinghell.

Posted by Tiff at 11:44 PM
November 05, 2023
Speed reading required

It's snowing out, and should accumulate to about 10cm overnight. Bloody hell, it's just the 5th of November! What ever happened to fall?! :(

Alright, I have to sit my ass down and finish 4 books by tomorrow afternoon, as I have a quiz at 1pm. Can I do it?

HELL YEAH!

See? I'm really not that pessimistic after all.


Here's a funny.

Top Ten Reasons why University is like Preschool:

10. You cry for your mother.
9. You cross the street without looking for cars.
8. Snack time is a necessity.
7. You bundle up for the outdoors without caring what you look like.
6. You stay at home and play games with your friends.
5. You wear your backpack on both shoulders.
4. You never eat what you are supposed to eat, and don't eat what you're supposed to eat.
3. Playing in the rain is a completely legitimate activity.
2. You take naps.
1. You can't remember all of your classmates' names.

;D

Time to get crackin'.

Currently listening to: Ludacris's Move Bitch
Current emotion: .
Random observation: I swear, one day, someone's gonna be run over on Water Street...

Posted by Tiff at 11:16 PM
November 04, 2023
Burning porn

Ever get one of those days where you just want to crank up the speakers and dance around the house? No? Maybe it's just me then :P

Lexie thought it would be funny to follow me around flashing nude drawings in my face. NOT FUNNY. Interrupted Kayla's 'phone call screaming "PORN!" at the top of my lungs, and all she and everyone else could do was laugh their asses off at me, hmph. I have plans for that binder of sin. We need burning materials for the fireplace... (what do you mean it's a gas fireplace? I'll burn those damn things anyway!)

My housemates have no sympathy for the conservative-minded.

Roger was here in the afternoon, sick as a dog and near collapse. Sent him home with medication and a bowl of frozen vegetable chicken soup I'd made yesterday. Must have been the vodka that killed him. Or something. Yes, we had vodka last Friday ;D It was just like old times, us girls bumming at his place, watching cartoons, reading Maxim and boozing up.

Yay for friends, yay for music and yay for mindless chatter. Now it's off to go burn stuff.

Currently listening to: Weezer's Buddy Holly
Current emotion: hyper
Random observation: Where the heck is the lighter...

Posted by Tiff at 09:58 PM
November 03, 2023
Elite, hah!

Am not as married to my 'puter as I used to be. Am married to the kitchen now :P

My bandana hides the fact that there's a hole somewhere in my brain and sensibility's drip, drip, dripping away like a leaky faucet.

Y'know how everyone says ("as much as we don't want to admit it") that once you attend university, you are considered a part of the elite of humanity? Not just because you have the money or the smarts to get into one, but just because you ARE in one. Personally, I beg to differ, but that's an entirely different matter altogether.
Now, what brought up this observation?

Punky persuaded us to show up for the TACSU party downtown, so we caught the pub bus, filled to the brim with "the elite of humanity", or, "the world's future leaders". Indeed. Drunk, crazy-ass loud individuals, screaming on top of their lungs in what seems to be a futile attempt at holding a conversation, all squashed in a bus which, Sarah and I deduced, was taking us "straight to hell". That's right, it was packed and loud, and if that wasn't bad enough, alcoholic fumes (mostly beer) emanated from all around. Stone-cold sober, I observed the antics of 18 and 19 year olds (don't ask, I just know), all the while thinking "what the..?!". At this point, I realized I was truly old.
If the bus ride down wasn't interesting enough, the 1am bus back was even more enlightening, from the girl who passed out to the one who puked all over herself. Yes, and lets not forget the ones who tried to decapicitate my head in their drunken attempts to get a hold of what I really don't know.

Elite. HAH!

It's been three hours since I started typing this. Maybe I should actually post it.

Currently listening to: DMX's Party Up
Current emotion: .
Random observation: 6 weeks and counting.

Posted by Tiff at 10:11 PM
November 01, 2023
Happy (belated) Halloween!

Hiaks, the site was down for a bit. Exceeded the bandwidth limit, pfft. Yay sooks *hug!* She called me last night, rahh! ;D

It's here yet again, and as everyone else got dressed up, went trick-or-treating and partied, we locked our doors and turned off the lights so that people wouldn't come knocking on our doorstep for candy, ahaha!

My only excuse is that we're poor, we're cheap, and we're students.

I still haven't found my glasses, which makes me feel more and more like an idiot, and a careless one at that. Why the hell couldn't I lose the old ones?! :(

A'ight, a'ight, stop bitching already.

It was a sit-at-home-and-chill day after classes. Watched some cartoons (yes, now that we have cable, I have the Canadian equavalent to Cartoon Network, ahaha!), went hunting for my specs and bummed around some more.
We persuaded Long to come up and hang out with us, so he dropped by, armed with fries, chicken nuggets and pumpkin pie, yay Long! Watched Beetlejuice and an assortment of other horror flicks (which I chose to ignore) while yakking the evening away. Had to ditch my pals and finish my quiz halfway though, bah. After failing it, I went back downstairs and fell asleep watching Long play Zelda. Kayla was already in bed by then, and Sarah was on 'phone, and I had a 9am class the next day.
Anyway, I missed my class (!@%@#^!!), completed my quiz and I'm just bumming around. Rudy's finally finished reconstructing bangsar.net, so hey, visit it or something.

As for the weekend plans, Sarah and I have been ditched *evil look* for boyfriends and parties. As such, I will cook, we will booze and have a good time without these evil people, hmph.

Off to catch some 'toons.

Currently listening to: Our Lady Peace's Somewhere Out There
Current emotion: .
Random observation: 7 books to read for the weekend, yay me!

Posted by Tiff at 11:21 AM
Online quiz, yuck.

Yes, yuck to you, you stupid online library quiz test thingy! You failed me last night, and this morning, just when I click on anything and everything with the hopes that I'll meet the deadline with score better than yesterday's, you give me a 90! You BITCH! Do you know how worried I've been over you? I could've slept better! I could've spent quality time with my friends! And all for a measely 5%! Tar kow aa?!

*mumble grumble*

Posted by Tiff at 10:53 AM