Tuesday, December 30, 2023
The pain of moving
Sharon hit KL for a quick 3 day visit, and after spending her first day in town partying, she managed to get Shean to wake me up yesterday for a get-together with everyone else. Unfortunately, Colin had decided at the last minute that I was to help him move, so I compromised and dragged the gang over to help.
We spent a good part of the afternoon getting stuff moved, before splitting up to head home for dinner and getting back together again in the late pm for a good old mamak session. In the process, I managed to move an extra load to Colin's in between, buy dinner for the parents and suffer a parking fine as well.
Shit.
Alice is back, and we were up till 5am yakking away while watching the uncensored DVD version of Bad Boys II. Jet-lagged, she woke up at 8 and decided to harass me at 9. Kai and Shean called for breakfast, so I dragged my sorry ass out of bed and was recruited by the parents to move some stuff while waiting. Sharon had stayed over, so once the guys showed up we circled SS15 trying to figure a good place for food. We settled for nasi lemak at a roadside stall they used to frequent way back when and chilled for another hour or so before Sharon had to take off for Penang. It wasn't that bad a goodbye, because we'll be heading up to see her before she leaves in January.
Napped for an hour in the afternoon before I helped Steve continue moving. Five trips and 6 1/2 hours later, I was tired, bitchy and ready to kick someone's ass at the slightest provacation. They both asked for it, so I lashed back with stinging remarks and a temper to match.
Devil incarnate.
The baby's visiting tomorrow, New Year's Eve will be spent boozing at home and over the next days we should be heading up to Penang.
Did I mention I have a bottle of apple-infused vodka? ;D
If I don't make it back in time, Happy New Year y'all. I hope it'll be a good one.
Posted by Tiff @ 10:51 AM GMT [Link]
Saturday, December 27, 2023
Anti-social
In all truth, I don't care much for parties, and doubt I ever will. Terminology will get you everywhere, and with the right use of words, you may or may not be able to sucker me into attending one of those organized-by-20-somethings'-soirees for whatever reason. Key words to use include quiet, simple and friends. Mention party or crowd, especially if not preceeded by the word usual, and you'll have my million and one excuses for not showing up.
Don't take it personal; I do it to everyone. And I do mean everyone.
My actions seem to draw the immediate, if mistaken, assumption that I do not like the host or the people invited to the party, which encourages me to conclude that these people are either extremely egocentric or sensitive. A plain and simple explanation: that I, quite simply, do not function well in crowds, fail to inspire any confidence that I am telling the truth.
Fuckers.
I am grateful and I am flattered that you so kindly thought of me. I would love to make an appearance, flutter like some social little butterfly, make small talk and the like, but chances are, I'm that bitch sitting around passing sarcasm and cheap insincere smiles while praying that I was somewhere else, or, more likely, I'm sitting with one or two friends passing time downing liquor wishing the strangers away.
Here's an open secret: I don't like people. A person is fine, but people are a whole different breed. They're a collective, plural, and holy shit do they suck when they get that way. If you didn't know that, you must be as obtuse as those rocks I like to hurl at them every once a while.
People have the uncanniest knack for letting each other down, and years of experience have taught me that trust is precious commodity; just as easily lost as it is earned. And so, in the long run, there really isn't anyone you can trust. And I do mean anyone.
So why bother in the first place?
I can't keep that facade up as well as I like, and I don't like that facade as well as I should. However, as much as I'd like to throw in the towel and start believing that people I call friends aren't going to screw me over, a little cynical voice at the back of my head prepares me for the worse anyway, all the time, because I've yet to see otherwise.
If you've screwed me over once, you'll screw me over again (if I let you).
I don't think I handle very well in social situations, so I'd rather avoid them. We'll lay it down quite simply: that which I do not see or understand, I do not know, and that which I do not know, I fear.
And I hate fear.
So to answer your questions, yes, I am anti-social, and no, I don't plan to change anytime soon.
Posted by Tiff @ 02:33 PM GMT [Link]
Saturday, December 27, 2023
A late Christmas wish
It's been quiet this year.
We've done away with the celebration and party, choosing instead to leave town for Ipoh with my aunts, cousins, nieces and nephew for a day of, well, eating. We also stopped by Teluk Batik so the kids could have some fun by the beach.
I tried to do some last minute shopping on Christmas eve, but I had to cancel. Ended up spending the day at the bank and being stuck in traffic. Reminiscent of last year's rush home with sooks, except that this time I wasn't at the SS15 roundabout :P Oh yeah, and I wasn't listening to Boney M ;D
Am almost done with Anthony Bourdain's Kitchen Confidential, and sooks is right; it's a brilliant read.
Just another Christmas down the drain.
As late as this may be, Merry Christmas, everyone.
Posted by Tiff @ 01:20 AM GMT [Link]
Tuesday, December 23, 2023
Christmas coincidence
After a few days of playing maid and cleaning like mad, a funeral, two family dinners, a day of prayers and babysitting between bouts of the flu and assorted afflictions, headed over to sooks's to drop off her Christmas present and catch up a little over a cup or two of teh tarik and Coke susu.
We traded gifts in the car and laughed our heads off when we realized we'd bought each other the exact same present: a stainless steel cocktail mixer! The only difference between our gifts was the size; I'd bought her a regular mixer, and she, knowing that I already had one, bought me a single-serve (also known as the travel size!) for my aeroplane/ airport adventures.
Or alcoholic moments, whichever comes first.
Aside from that, they look exactly alike, right down to the design on the cap. I'd bought hers in Canada, and she bought mine in Singapore, lol. Great minds certainly do think alike :PI can see me now, asking for ice, OJ and some vodka, mixing my own drinks 47,500 metres above sea level ;D
Cheers, sooks!
Posted by Tiff @ 01:30 PM GMT [Link]
Saturday, December 20, 2023
Starting to believe
I regret to say I never knew you all my life. I knew your name, your wife, your daughter. I've visited your house, watched your TV, ate your food. I spoke to you as children would, with half a mind and even less attention. I don't think I've been disrespectful, but I do think I should've given you more time.
I was so preoccupied with childish grief I couldn't see your grown-up one. It was, after all, barely a 28 day difference, and she was like a second mother to me, so I hope you'll forgive me for that.
I heard them talk about you: about how upset you were, about how you wanted to let go. I heard about how much you cared, but I guess, back then, it was just words on children's ears. I was selfish, but I hope you'll forgive me of that.
I spoke to you once; really, really sat down and talked to you, right after I came back from my first year at university. We had an actual conversation, and I was amazed at how easily the words flowed. You didn't mind my stubborness, I truly appreciated your wisdom. I didn't tell you then, so I hope you'll forgive me for that.
I don't know you, but I remember you. They say a part of you died with her when she left, and today, I believe it. I wish I realized a little more how lonely you were, how independent you were. I admire that trait in people, but I never got to tell you that.
Perhaps I truly am starting to believe.
I hope you're in a happier place, and that you found what you've been looking for.
Posted by Tiff @ 08:14 AM GMT [Link]
Thursday, December 18, 2023
Argh! My eyes!
No, I didn't come across porn :P
The monsoon's almost over, and with that, the return of dusty yet humid weather, which means my sensitive eyes feel as if someone stuck a burning stick or two right in 'em.
I'm blinking, not batting my non-existent lashes at you, dumbass.
Came *this* close to committing an act of vandalism last night, hmph. Dinner with sooks fell through, was late in meeting with Shean but I managed to catch episodes 7 and 8 of Friends so all was not lost.
My lack of respect has everything to do with your behaviour and nothing to do with the fact that you're an elder. In the paraphrased words of Punky, somedays I'd like to shoot you, or me, whoever was closer.
Currently listening to: Vertical Horizon's Wasted
Current emotion: uncomfortable
Random observation: If I scrunch my eyes real tight, I can see stars!Posted by Tiff @ 10:46 AM GMT [Link]
Thursday, December 18, 2023
Christmas Wish List
Just call me practical ;P
I've finally outgrown soft toys. A'ight, so it was a long time coming, and don't get me wrong, I still love all those furry fluffy brats I have lying around, but I think I have more than enough to be buried in, so it'll have to stop.
All I want for Christmas.
1. That gorgeous chess set I saw in Debenham's, where the board also functions as a storage unit for the wood-carved pieces.
2. Either the Casio Exislim Z3 or the Canon Ixus i.
3. Gift vouchers from MPH.
4. Tom & Jerry VCDS (Disc 1 through 10).
5. The first four Vertical Horizon CDs.If I get even one item from that list above, it's gonna be pretty amazing, lol.
Last-minute shopping over the next few days, da da da.
Posted by Tiff @ 10:29 AM GMT [Link]
Wednesday, December 17, 2023
Some days
Was up till three baking cheesecakes while listening to a CD from last summer. There's nothing quite like digging up CDs from certain periods in your life; each song brings forth memories of particular incidents and mishaps, sometimes dragging tears from the bottom of your soul, sometimes wringing laughter from within.
Received a last minute call for a dinner get-together with the guys on Saturday, and everyone piled into the vehicle of death with yours truly at the wheel. Andrew and Steve were trailing in our wake, and according to the guys, I make up with guts (or as I'd like to call it, recklessness) where I lack skills, hiaks. To quote Rudy, "Beware the blue Matrix" :P Had a typical chinese dinner at some restaurant on Jalan Ipoh before we adjourned to Merv's for a couple of games of mahjong. I played a dismal game, meh.
We had a super fancy lunch buffet at Shangri-La's Lemon Garden Cafe with Merv, Wan Yee and Karen on Monday. Andrew and Azuan couldn't join us because of work commitments, but we managed to persuade Wan Yee to forgo propriety for good food and great company, stretching his usual lunch hour to three ;D (Hey, it was a great meal, you have to admit that!). It was really nice to catch up with Karen, whom I haven't seen in years. Colin was working, so he sneaked out some extra treats for us, including a lychee tart and some super yummy handmade chocolates. My brother rocks ;D Unfortunately, thanks to that particularly expensive meal and crazy-ass parking fees, am nice and broke, which doesn't bode well since Christmas is just around the corner.
I can kiss my digital camera goodbye if I'm not careful.
Merv and I headed to Karen's in Hartamas after lunch to check out her new business and yak a little more before taking off. While hunting for a parking spot, there was a green Honda in front of me that was taking forever to circle the lot. Then the idiot had the unbelievable nerve to dig around for his cell phone to make a call! Merv started egging me on to lean on the horn, and I did so for a couple of pissed off/rude seconds but right after I lifted my hand off it I thought the licence plates looked familiar, and at the exact same moment my phone started to ring, I realized that it was Kai I was losing my temper at, ahaha! See Kai, I always told you if I ever saw you on the road I'd hate you ;P
The family's been taking turns in catching the flu, and after dodging illness for a while it was my turn this week, complete with cough, runny nose and sore throat. Thanks to an OD on vitamins and medication, am feeling much better, albeit still slightly woozy. We've also been taking turns cleaning the house, seeing as the maid's gone. With all this going on, the books and my reading spree have been put on hold.
Got to catch up with Shean last night; he'd just returned from a trip to Egypt with his family the night before, and we just chilled while updating each other on happenings and the details of his trip. Actually, will be heading over to his place to watch some movies, burn some CDs and just waste some time later.
I've been volunteered out for tutoring, counselling and stuff. Not that I mind, but sometimes, I'd like to be consulted first before being sent out to do something which I'm not sure that I can. After all, I think I'm the last person anyone should turn to for words of wisdom in regards to life and love, parenting and sex.
I guess I'm just bloody angry at times.
Dinner date with sooks, walla! Two sickies out to spread illness and runny noses, all in the name of Christmas. Hey, they don't call it the season of giving and sharing for nothing ;P
Currently listening to: Nelly Furtado's Powerless
Current emotion: sick
Random observation: I hate traffic.Posted by Tiff @ 04:50 AM GMT [Link]
Saturday, December 13, 2023
Sex..!
Of all the people they could possibly pick to teach sex ed to a 13 year old, they just had to pick me.
*bangs head on desk repeatedly*
Posted by Tiff @ 12:56 PM GMT [Link]
Thursday, December 11, 2023
Babbling
I don't remember the last time I updated, I don't remember where I left off. Doubts permeate the brain of any chance that I've been the slightest bit productive, but insomniac moments have struck again, rendering me useless till noon every other day.
I don't think I'm complaining.
Somewhere in the past two weeks I had two excellent lunches with Merv, ragging each other and just plain catching up. Also caught Matrix Revolutions (without watching Reloaded first) with the guys and Sue in tow, and spectacular effects aside, I was glad to see those schmucks die. Or something.
After liquor-shopping and our bkt session, I don't think I've seen sooks much, but we had a decent afternoon at Dome's Bangsar today, what with my craving for yummy chicken and mushroom pie. We both agreed that my parking skills are seriously lacking, but hey, it's the end results that count, right? Right?!
Fine, laugh all you want, but I still managed to park my car decent, hmph.
I'm telling you, it's all paranoia.
Finished reading Elizabeth Wurtzel's Prozac Nation today. sooks took off a little past 5, my cell phone was dead and I didn't want to face the traffic, so I picked up a Mango Citrus frapp and chilled with my books till 7-ish at Starbucks. That book's a total mindfuck (and that curse just cost me 20 cents!). Have already started on Edith Wharton's The Age of Innocence, and I'm waiting for sooks to be done with Kitchen Confidential so that I can steal it off her.
Among other news, Sharon will be back for Christmas this Saturday, Norman on the 17th, and if I'm not mistaken, Shean on the 15th? Either way, the gang (sadly, minus Agnes, who's still stuck in Melbourne) will be reunited after a break of 2 years, I think. Wicked ;D
Shao Yi's back from her trip to Cambodia with her mom and brother, so I spent over three hours just talking and chilling with her. While trying to explain the incomprehensible mess that is a mind, Theseus and the Minatour whispered their secrets. The thread, the darkness and the maze that is the Labyrinth, they all play a part in such a dance with death, a preoccupation with that window, the fascination with the morbid.
I love a good metaphor, strong coffee and excellent company. Thanks for all three, Shao.
There was an afternoon which I took off to MPH's just to read, and Andrew, Rudy and Merv joined me at Chilli's after for dinner. It was nice to see them, and I got lost in the mall for a while after. Never was a fan of that stupid place :P
Visited Pei Yee and Seng Wee last night with my brother; they tied the knot a few weeks back, and their new place is really nice. Am still deciding if I like the sofa or Bobby, the puppy they picked up from PAWS, more, hehe. I'm thinking of stopping by the place with some cookies for the volunteers and something for the animals. Here's hoping my little financial fiasco will settle soon so that I can do just that.
What else?
Let's see... there was a huge family gathering last Sunday to celebrate my aunt's 72nd birthday, and to prove that my family's not big enough, my dad introduced me to my great-great grand aunt who's still alive and kicking.
Wah. No joke, that.
Am slowly thinking about job-hunting, but with everyone offering me crap money and my workaholic tendencies, I've yet to decide on anything concrete.
In between lunches, dinners and good old yum cha sessions, I can usually be found helping the parents out or spending time with family, from being the (hell) driver to shopping for groceries and stuff.
It's not just raining, it's freaking pouring at times, but the monsoon season should be over soon, and then we'll be whining about how bloody hot and humid it is. Colin and Audrey are both down with the flu, and I'm not far behind. Welcome home Tiffy.
Posted by Tiff @ 12:09 PM GMT [Link]
Saturday, December 6, 2023
Books
It's 5.40am, and I just finished reading Drop Dead Gorgeous by Katie Agnew. Was on a book-buying spree earlier and splurged almost a hundred bucks on four novels. Down with one, three to go.
It feels great to enjoy reading again. Haven't devoured a book like this since... I can't remember. It's been too long since I read something from cover to cover without any breaks; no dog-eared pages and bookmarks and forgotten storylines to worry about. Bliss.
Should get a couple of hours before I start on Prozac Nation.
Currently listening to: nothing
Current emotion: .
Random observation: I have Part II of conversation with god around here somewhere.Posted by Tiff @ 05:08 PM GMT [Link]
Thursday, December 4, 2023
Conversation with god
So what's the deal with life anyway?
Some people say it is what you make of it. Others say that I determine your future, or prefer to call it Fate.
What's your answer?
I say it's what you believe or think it to be.
Which means...?
Go figure.
Are you telling me there's no answer?!
Ever since you people discovered the scientific age, all you ever want and expect are definite answers with logical and plausible reasons made comprehensible by your minute and self-serving minds. When will you ever learn to realize that there are too many options, too many opinions and too many beliefs to ever narrow it down to a thousand, let alone one definite answer? Life is not a math question or equation that you can study to obtain the best and only result. To do that would require an extremely large ego (which many of you have, by the way), and even then that would only be an assumption.
What's wrong with an assumption? We generalize all the time.
Haven't you heard, to assume is to make an ass out of you and me? Generalizations help us pigeon-hole others, arranging them into categories that we're comfortable with, leading us to act accordingly to such pre-conceived ideas.
Pre-conceived?
The way you look and react to life has been explained in part by your studies in sociology and psychology. Any and every experience leads to a completely unique yet universal life. Do I sound like I'm speaking in riddles?
Damn right!
Shush. You people! Always so bloody impatient. And always, always looking for that one singular answer. You haven't been listening at all have you?
I have! But you asked me a question, so I answered!
It was a rhetorical question *KOK!*
Ouch!
Ahahaha!
Evil!
The separation of good and evil is all relative.
By the sounds of it, every damn thing is relative!
Pretty much.
Bah.
Thanks.
You do realize this makes absolutely no sense whatsoever?
It's all relative... *starts to whistle*
Oi!
Try that question another time. Next?
Okay, so why?
Because people do stupid thing at stupid times. No, scratch that, people do stupid things all the bloody time! But they'll get their just desserts. One day.
Really?
We can hope.
So there's a heaven and hell?
It's all here on earth, kiddo.
Liar.
Maybe.
This is turning into a farce eh?
Damn right.
You swore!
Meh :P hurry up, I'm tired. Any more questions?
Tell me a divine secret.
god listens to soca, and jesus likes to party!
?!
god has a sense of humour, even if you don't.
Ha ha. So very funny.
I try.
What's up, god?
Cookies, nuts and chocolates. But that's just a personal preference.
Okay, this conversation has degenerated into nothing.
...and from nothing we gain something.
Last words?
Be kind.
Really?
Oh, and someone loves you. Really.